Paying g/f's diving trips?

[alexlakeman]

I am just starting to dive again and started seeing someone who is also a scuba diver ..... problem? It's expensive enough to pay $70-$100 for my dive and tank / regulator rental... I can't wing paying her's too... would it be unreasonable telling her she's welcome to come but has to pay her way for the dive? (just the dive, not planning going dutch on ANYTHING else )....

Thoughts?

 

[FredT]

She should pay for the trip, AND haul her own gear.
If you keep her around you don't want to start any bad habits. Once married you'll get the full tariff, but maybe she'll continue hauling gear.

 

[MSilvia]

If you're paying that much, it might be time to consider getting yourself a basic reg set. The rental fees can really add up!

 

[drbill]

Seems reasonable to me. The best relationships I've had were when we decided that whoever asked to go out and chose what we would do was the one who paid. That way both were in control of expenses, yet shared. With GFs that earned less than I did, they chose less expensive things to do. We had fun on every date (several different GFs). If I wanted to do something expensive with her, it was MY decision.

Of course now I'm looking for a woman with a good sized... trust fund. I can't afford to date, I'm a dive bum!

 

[ScubaSteve]

I would find a way to let her know. If it is not passed along to her liking, you will find yourself on the curb though (or at least in a very BIG doghouse) so I would do it tactfully. Scuba is a very expensive sport, so I do agree that if you do many trips, you would be farther ahead to invest in some of your own gear.....if you both invest in your own gear, paying for each other's dives becomes slightly easier to handle.

But, what I will suggest.....you dso not say where you are from but find a way to SHORE DIVE.....these cost only the rental costs and no charter costs.

Of course now I'm looking for a woman with a good sized... trust fund. I can't afford to date, I'm a dive bum!

Hopefully she has a younger sister as well

 

[SailNaked]

If you found someone that enjoys your passions invest in her. like buying a regulator, if you find a good one it is worth the money. seriously if you are whining about paying for her dive trips get 2 more jobs. one of the challenges in life is to find someone you can spend many years with, if she is into what you are into that is 1/2 the war right there.
I will warn against the bait and switch. some women will pretend to love your passions then after you are married suddenly they are childish endevors and you should not do them if you love her (NOT!!!!!). If she was a diver before you met her then pay for her dives while you are dating, hold the door for her, and leave the seat down if she wants. I assume you are young, but in my limited experience a good woman is a treasure to be valued and protected.

 

[BettyRubble]

Tell her exactly what you just told us. If she's worth having around, not only will she understand, but she'll let you go without her when she can't afford it.

If she balks, or sulks, or pulls the passive agressive crap . . well, then you may have discovered a better question then whether or not to pay for her trips . . . .

 

[Don Wray]

Tell her exactly what you just told us. If she's worth having around, not only will she understand, but she'll let you go without her when she can't afford it.

If she balks, or sulks, or pulls the passive agressive crap . . well, then you may have discovered a better question then whether or not to pay for her trips . . . .

I agree, just be honest. If you want her to go, explain to her your situation, save up and surprise her with a nice diving vacation weekend every so often, but not every trip. Since she's already a diver, she'll probably understand.

 

[Kupu]

If you found someone that enjoys your passions invest in her. like buying a regulator, if you find a good one it is worth the money. seriously if you are whining about paying for her dive trips get 2 more jobs. one of the challenges in life is to find someone you can spend many years with, if she is into what you are into that is 1/2 the war right there.

Although I hesitate to suggest such an approach (or at least the part about getting 2 more jobs:shocked2, I have tried this and it seems to be paying off. When I met her, she was unable to afford the cost of diving. I would leave her at home and go off for a week or two on dive trips, she understood, but really wanted to dive. So I bought her an intro dive to see what happened. She loved it. I always wanted a girlfriend who was a diver, so....

The initial investment lighted my wallet considerably, buying the additional gear and training, although I am fortunate enough to dive in places where dives can be only $10-$20. At that point, I had a good looking dive buddy who had good skills and was an excellent spotter for my macro photography. Nice! Much better than the random buddy pairing with overweight guys in speedos and poor dive skills.

Now, a few years later, she is interested in doing her DM. So it looks like I will end up with a great girlfriend who loves to dive and can pay her own way on the diving. Looks like it could be a happy ending.

Best of luck to you Alex!

 

[letterboy]

I agree, look into buying your own gear if you are spending that much to rent...

I have a diving GF I got her into it, she and I split the costs for our dives etc. This isn't being stingee or tight fisted it is being a couple. If she doesn't understand that you expect her to help with the costs, do what I did with me EX, kick her to the curb, and take all the dive gear with you
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