Terror on my 12th dive

[Nikolai]

Sorry this may be long but I kinda need to talk this one out.

The abbreviated beginning is that I went to meet a club that dives locally but somehow misread the date they met. Luckily (so i thought at the time) someone else was there who did the same thing so he became my "insta-buddy." Now for the meat of the issue:

Thus far my diving has been extremely enjoyable and have never experienced one moment of trepidation or discomfort. The wonder and fascination of the deep has yet to grow old on me. At times I feel as a child on Christmas eve who can't sleep out of anticipation for the wonderful gifts the next day will have to offer him. That's how the underwater world has been for me.

Its been a few weeks since I'd been diving and finally the day is here and am really looking forward to todays adventure. The surface swim was very long, but not more than would be acceptable for me to swim at my own pace. Sadly my buddy swam much faster than I and it became quite a workout, though I never felt winded. This should have been my first clue but I felt fine when we got to the drop point and we discussed the final dive plan and off we went.

Visibility was maybe 8' and I was stunned at how dark it was as we descended. Luckily I had my light and everything felt great to me. I signaled I was fine and of we went. Actually in retrospect I feel more like I waved the checkered flag and the race was on. A flash of bubbles and a flurry of fins and he was off. All but pitch black and limited vis and shortly all I have to follow is a waning trail of bubbles, eventually becoming nothing more than a fine mist that told me "a diver came through here recently." I have never swam as long or hard in my life. This is when terror started to slowly take its hold. "I'm burning hot", "no relief", "can't lose my buddy" , "can't breathe", the thoughts and panic come faster and faster. Its dark as night, the bubble trail barely visible, cannot stop or I'll lose the trail, disoriented, cramps, I have to stop, can't stop, can't breathe, clawing at my hood like a wild animal caught in a trap, can't think, too hot, can't breathe, too dizzy...SURFACE NOW!!!!!

A spot slightly darker than the rest of the ocean starts to solidify into the shape vaguely familiar. another second and it's clear that its the tail end of a diver with his head in a lobster hole. My "buddy". I literally swim over to a patch of sand and with my last bit of energy and the waves of terror starting to lesson their grip on my, I vent my BC, lay down for a couple seconds, get control of my breathing, crap as I see how much air I blew through during "the chase", and finally get a hold of my hood and fill it and my suit with cold water. Then a lesser panic sets in as I realize how close to total run-for-your-life terror I was and how close I was to letting it have its way with me.

The rest of the story isn't important but more of the same exhaustion and what in all seriousness was likely a 300-500 yard surface swim back to shore.

My problem thus far is I want to dive so bad. But I don't know any other divers, so I try to meet up with people that I don't know. This was my worst experience with diving with an unknown person, but not one has been what I would call fun. Right now I'm honestly scared, badly of ever diving with someone I do not know, but yet will never dive again unless I do. I am also very scared by how terror managed to get such a firm grip on me. Another few seconds, if I hadn't seen my "buddy" I WOULD have just bolted as fast as I could to the surface from 35'.

Honestly at this point diving alone doesn't scare me as much as diving with someone else. (Not that I'm saying I would start to solo) All but 2 post cert dives I have done I have not enjoyed the dives largely due to my "buddy".

Thanks for reading.

I guess I just don't know what to do because honestly I'm scared of diving with other people right now. Hoping someone can help with advice on how to deal with these situations when you're right in the middle of them and not panic.

-Nick

Edit: Crap looking at my logbook I see it was dive 13!
That explains everything.

 

[JahJahwarrior]

First thing to do is never dive with an instabuddy, if you can help it. Second thing to do is make sure neither of you tire each other out. You were not diving with a buddy, you were diving with a trail of bubbles. Your buddy was not doing his job, and that is reprehensable. My dive buddy and I know each other quite well, and almost always dive with each other. We don't always stick close, but we also both breathe at very similar rates, and are both aware of how much air we have. We also usually remain in site of each other, even if we are not next to each other. He would not leave me behind, and I would not leave him behind. We trust each other.

I am of the opinoin that if you are not diving with someone that is trustworthy, then you are doing a solo dive, and you should not dive solo unless you are prepared for it, and 12 dives is not "prepared for it."

Try to work with your buddy in the future to let him know that he needs to swim at your pace, above and below, and that you both need to be in sight of each other. You really need to be able to trust your buddy, or be prepared to do it alone.

 

[scubaccrn]

I have to tell you, this is one of my big fears. I do not have anyone to dive with either. My husband has nothing to do with the water. However, I have phone numbers from people I went through training with, and the instructors frequently dive with the groups in this area. When I get in the water, as much as I want to dive--be safe first. Visibility is a huge thing for me right now, and I would have aborted the dive as soon as I realized I'd been ditched and lost sight of my "dive partner". I commend you for keeping it together and not getting injured. Don't give up.....call your dive shop and see if there is a group, and someone you can buddy up with. It's getting too cold for me to dive here in Indiana, I'm not trained to dive with a dry suit yet. But, I have talked to lots of people, and when the diving starts back up this spring I'll be in with my group, and they will know what my limitations are. I hope someone will be willing to take a newbie under their fin and just keep close for awhile. That's what I learned in training. Good luck!

 

[almitywife]

.......how close to total run-for-your-life terror I was and how close I was to letting it have its way with me.......

thank you for your post.... its a lesson on how to be a better buddy

for me this is familiar - ive been there and still diving - i did not ever dive with the person that gave me the dive from hell again

please do not let this one drongo scare you off – get in contact with the dive club you are a member off, ask if there are any mentors in the club that would understand that you want to put the fun and safety back into your diving. finding a good dive buddy is like dating, you gotta meet a few idiots to find the good guys (and ladies)

not everyone is like this – you will find most people are eager to ensure you keep diving and dive safely while continueing your training/experience so please don’t give up

cheers

 

[SterlingDiver]

thank you for your post.... its a lesson on how to be a better buddy

please do not let this one drongo scare you off –
cheers

A. Wife you "kill" me. Drongo, what is a drongo? You could be swearing like a sailor and none of us dim Americans would even know.

 

[Bobyjimmie]

Hey Nick,

Im out of Corona, which is near you. My roomate is just now getting certified and I dive fairly often with my old instructor which will now be his instructor. I go by the motto to just cruise nice and slowly and enjoy everything around me. This creates more bottom time because I am not over exerting myself. You are more then welcome to join us once he gets Cert'd. There is a local dive club kind of near you as well. If you wanna check them out. S.C.D.C.I.E. scdcie.org
That is my fear btw, dealing with some yokel as an absentee dive buddy.

 

[almitywife]

A. Wife you "kill" me. Drongo, what is a drongo? You could be swearing like a sailor and none of us dim Americans would even know.

drongo, noun:- a stupid, inept, awkward or embarrassing person, a dimwit or slow-witted person, a fool.

...... You are more then welcome to join us ......

 

[SterlingDiver]

drongo, noun:- a stupid, inept, awkward or embarrassing person, a dimwit or slow-witted person, a fool.



I feel like such a drongo for asking.:11doh:

 

[CardShark]

" Dive diary, 13th logged dive : Learned today that some divers are not concerned about others, even the ones to whom they've just committed. "

We know the fault is not with the buddy system, but with that individual. Many divers are both exceptionally considerate of, and diligent in their partners' care. Your present fear may spark gaining the wisdom to discern between these two divers.

( Note to self : " pre-qualify " instabuddies whenever possible, 'cause this will eventually happen to me ! )

 

[Nikolai]

Thank you Bobyjimmie, I'll keep you in mind.

Almitywife,and everyone else so far, thanks for the advice.

Oh and JahJahWarrior: Yes to everything you posted, thanks.

I guess first of all I felt i needed to:

1. To get this out in some way with people who will understand (dive shop I certified in is a no-go, long story)

2. Post this in the hopes it in some way enlightens someone new as to the dangers of diving with someone you don't know getting you into situations you aren't ready for.

3. Posting the whole story helped me mentally walk through the whole day and really remember what happened so I can self-analyze things.

Let me ask this. First to preface, to be honest, I feel I am a good buddy.

Example: Yesterdays dive I buddied with a guy who this was his first out of certification. I saw he really struggled during the surface swim and I kept reinforcing to him that I was right there with him, and I told him to relax, take his time, and went out of my way to not make him feel rushed. When we dropped I took personal responsibility to always keep contact with him and the second I didn't see him (vis was like 10' max) I would stop, check on him, and we would continue. In the end it was not that fun of a dive for me, and we only had 30min bottom time but what mattered to me most was he was safe and so was I. And I told him afterward when he apologized for it I told him to never feel sorry for being new and no problem at all. This is what I feel being a good buddy is about.

Moving to today: I admit I kinda felt obligated to stay with my "buddy" and that I would be the bad person to leave him alone if I were to self abort the dive and just swim back to shore. I would have no way of telling him that I'm going up (i couldn't even catch him to tell him to slow down lol) and honestly would feel guilty if I found out something happened to him and I had left him. Should I have just left him?

Thanks guys this helps me a lot cause I'm really shaken by today. In all seriousness this was the most scared/terrified I have ever been in my life. I can really see now how people can panic and just throw their reg outta their mouth and run to the surface. I was almost there.

-Nick