Nikolai
Contributor
Sorry this may be long but I kinda need to talk this one out.
The abbreviated beginning is that I went to meet a club that dives locally but somehow misread the date they met. Luckily (so i thought at the time) someone else was there who did the same thing so he became my "insta-buddy." Now for the meat of the issue:
Thus far my diving has been extremely enjoyable and have never experienced one moment of trepidation or discomfort. The wonder and fascination of the deep has yet to grow old on me. At times I feel as a child on Christmas eve who can't sleep out of anticipation for the wonderful gifts the next day will have to offer him. That's how the underwater world has been for me.
Its been a few weeks since I'd been diving and finally the day is here and am really looking forward to todays adventure. The surface swim was very long, but not more than would be acceptable for me to swim at my own pace. Sadly my buddy swam much faster than I and it became quite a workout, though I never felt winded. This should have been my first clue but I felt fine when we got to the drop point and we discussed the final dive plan and off we went.
Visibility was maybe 8' and I was stunned at how dark it was as we descended. Luckily I had my light and everything felt great to me. I signaled I was fine and of we went. Actually in retrospect I feel more like I waved the checkered flag and the race was on. A flash of bubbles and a flurry of fins and he was off. All but pitch black and limited vis and shortly all I have to follow is a waning trail of bubbles, eventually becoming nothing more than a fine mist that told me "a diver came through here recently." I have never swam as long or hard in my life. This is when terror started to slowly take its hold. "I'm burning hot", "no relief", "can't lose my buddy" , "can't breathe", the thoughts and panic come faster and faster. Its dark as night, the bubble trail barely visible, cannot stop or I'll lose the trail, disoriented, cramps, I have to stop, can't stop, can't breathe, clawing at my hood like a wild animal caught in a trap, can't think, too hot, can't breathe, too dizzy...SURFACE NOW!!!!!
A spot slightly darker than the rest of the ocean starts to solidify into the shape vaguely familiar. another second and it's clear that its the tail end of a diver with his head in a lobster hole. My "buddy". I literally swim over to a patch of sand and with my last bit of energy and the waves of terror starting to lesson their grip on my, I vent my BC, lay down for a couple seconds, get control of my breathing, crap as I see how much air I blew through during "the chase", and finally get a hold of my hood and fill it and my suit with cold water. Then a lesser panic sets in as I realize how close to total run-for-your-life terror I was and how close I was to letting it have its way with me.
The rest of the story isn't important but more of the same exhaustion and what in all seriousness was likely a 300-500 yard surface swim back to shore.
My problem thus far is I want to dive so bad. But I don't know any other divers, so I try to meet up with people that I don't know. This was my worst experience with diving with an unknown person, but not one has been what I would call fun. Right now I'm honestly scared, badly of ever diving with someone I do not know, but yet will never dive again unless I do. I am also very scared by how terror managed to get such a firm grip on me. Another few seconds, if I hadn't seen my "buddy" I WOULD have just bolted as fast as I could to the surface from 35'.
Honestly at this point diving alone doesn't scare me as much as diving with someone else. (Not that I'm saying I would start to solo) All but 2 post cert dives I have done I have not enjoyed the dives largely due to my "buddy".
Thanks for reading.
I guess I just don't know what to do because honestly I'm scared of diving with other people right now. Hoping someone can help with advice on how to deal with these situations when you're right in the middle of them and not panic.
-Nick
Edit: Crap looking at my logbook I see it was dive 13!
That explains everything.
The abbreviated beginning is that I went to meet a club that dives locally but somehow misread the date they met. Luckily (so i thought at the time) someone else was there who did the same thing so he became my "insta-buddy." Now for the meat of the issue:
Thus far my diving has been extremely enjoyable and have never experienced one moment of trepidation or discomfort. The wonder and fascination of the deep has yet to grow old on me. At times I feel as a child on Christmas eve who can't sleep out of anticipation for the wonderful gifts the next day will have to offer him. That's how the underwater world has been for me.
Its been a few weeks since I'd been diving and finally the day is here and am really looking forward to todays adventure. The surface swim was very long, but not more than would be acceptable for me to swim at my own pace. Sadly my buddy swam much faster than I and it became quite a workout, though I never felt winded. This should have been my first clue but I felt fine when we got to the drop point and we discussed the final dive plan and off we went.
Visibility was maybe 8' and I was stunned at how dark it was as we descended. Luckily I had my light and everything felt great to me. I signaled I was fine and of we went. Actually in retrospect I feel more like I waved the checkered flag and the race was on. A flash of bubbles and a flurry of fins and he was off. All but pitch black and limited vis and shortly all I have to follow is a waning trail of bubbles, eventually becoming nothing more than a fine mist that told me "a diver came through here recently." I have never swam as long or hard in my life. This is when terror started to slowly take its hold. "I'm burning hot", "no relief", "can't lose my buddy" , "can't breathe", the thoughts and panic come faster and faster. Its dark as night, the bubble trail barely visible, cannot stop or I'll lose the trail, disoriented, cramps, I have to stop, can't stop, can't breathe, clawing at my hood like a wild animal caught in a trap, can't think, too hot, can't breathe, too dizzy...SURFACE NOW!!!!!
A spot slightly darker than the rest of the ocean starts to solidify into the shape vaguely familiar. another second and it's clear that its the tail end of a diver with his head in a lobster hole. My "buddy". I literally swim over to a patch of sand and with my last bit of energy and the waves of terror starting to lesson their grip on my, I vent my BC, lay down for a couple seconds, get control of my breathing, crap as I see how much air I blew through during "the chase", and finally get a hold of my hood and fill it and my suit with cold water. Then a lesser panic sets in as I realize how close to total run-for-your-life terror I was and how close I was to letting it have its way with me.
The rest of the story isn't important but more of the same exhaustion and what in all seriousness was likely a 300-500 yard surface swim back to shore.
My problem thus far is I want to dive so bad. But I don't know any other divers, so I try to meet up with people that I don't know. This was my worst experience with diving with an unknown person, but not one has been what I would call fun. Right now I'm honestly scared, badly of ever diving with someone I do not know, but yet will never dive again unless I do. I am also very scared by how terror managed to get such a firm grip on me. Another few seconds, if I hadn't seen my "buddy" I WOULD have just bolted as fast as I could to the surface from 35'.
Honestly at this point diving alone doesn't scare me as much as diving with someone else. (Not that I'm saying I would start to solo) All but 2 post cert dives I have done I have not enjoyed the dives largely due to my "buddy".
Thanks for reading.
I guess I just don't know what to do because honestly I'm scared of diving with other people right now. Hoping someone can help with advice on how to deal with these situations when you're right in the middle of them and not panic.
-Nick
Edit: Crap looking at my logbook I see it was dive 13!
That explains everything.