My Wife is finally giving Scuba a try - what can I do to help her succeed?

[J12345]

Making sure she has gear that is comfortable/fits her, instead of just whatever gear that you can find that will 'work'.

 

[Allen-1]

Worth a repeat..
(They love it when we just LISTEN, don't they?)

translate: SHUT UP!!!!! We don't want your advice, your problem solving skills, or anything else. Just listen.

Thread was updated, so it came across my feed.

@Scuba_Jenny -

It took me YEARS to realize that my wife very often doesn't want me to "solve the problem", she just wants me to listen to her. I still fail.

I'm wired to collect data, evaluate parameters, determine requirements, and either do or engage someone else to do. I'm totally task oriented.

She'll be explaining the situation, and I'm sitting there doing my best to listen, and mentally going "come on, cut to the chase - what do we need to do here?". And what she needs me to do is listen.

Fail, not every time, but way too many.

 

[BoundForElsewhere]

Thread was updated, so it came across my feed.

@Scuba_Jenny -

It took me YEARS to realize that my wife very often doesn't want me to "solve the problem", she just wants me to listen to her. I still fail.

I'm wired to collect data, evaluate parameters, determine requirements, and either do or engage someone else to do. I'm totally task oriented.

She'll be explaining the situation, and I'm sitting there doing my best to listen, and mentally going "come on, cut to the chase - what do we need to do here?". And what she needs me to do is listen.

Fail, not every time, but way too many.

its like you were talking to my soul.

one of the best things I have heard lately was to ask the question, "do you want solution-based support or emotional-based support".

 

[Ballyhoo]

Go with a diving instructor your first few dives with her.

 

[EFX]

It took me YEARS to realize that my wife very often doesn't want me to "solve the problem", she just wants me to listen to her. I still fail.

Yeah. I finally realized the same thing with my wife. Women really do want to solve the problem but do it in a way that is opposite from men. Men will think about the problem, arrive at a solution, and then solve the problem. Later they will talk to their buddies about the problem and how they solved it including any issues that came up. Women, on the other hand, start off by talking to their friends about the problem and then will go and solve it. This partly explains why women want men to listen to them -- they start in talk mode while men start in do mode.

 

[Edward3c]

they start in talk mode while men start in do mode.

When does talk mode change to action mode? I've been waiting over 25 year and counting.

 

[BoundForElsewhere]

When does talk mode change to action mode? I've been waiting over 25 year and counting.

it doesn't. ever. its been 30 years for me and I still can't wait for the incessant recounting of every minute of the day to end.

burn after reading