Why Leave a Buddy?

[TSandM]

Zen Nomad, I don't want to dive with people I don't trust, which is why I dive the way I do, with the people with whom I dive. I know that, even if I have flown halfway around the world and have never met the person with whom I am going to dive in person before, that their behavior will be predictable, and will fall within certain parameters. It's worth a great deal to me to have that.

 

[fnfalman]

About two minutes later they surfaced at the exit about 200 yards away.
We surface swam over and by the time I reached the dock I was livid! I took a few minutes to gather my wits and de-briefed them and pointed out that the lost team members were to search no longer than one minute as discussed then surface.
A couple wanted to argue that they knew I was fine but when I asked what was planned pre-dive they were silent. PLAN THE DIVE DIVE THE PLAN! It just does not get any more plain than that. When dive practices are not followed safety is compromised and risks not managed thus allowing for accidents to happen.

When I was fresh out of OW, I coupled with a fellow who had several hundred dives under his belt. We got separated a couple of times and each time he kept on diving while I floated on the surface worrying to death. Each time his excuse was "I knew that you were OK."

How the heck did he know that I was OK? I had five dives under my belt, for heaven's sake. Not to mention how did I know that he was OK?

Anyway, after the second time, I found new buddies.

There was one that kept swimming all over the place heedless of direction and won't acknowledge me when I tried to signal her to stay with me instead of going willy nilly (she was heading toward blue water with no safety sausage, no plans to do so). The next dive, I refused to go with her.

A couple of spearos keep sweeping me with their spearguns' muzzles and so fixated on hunting that they didn't bother to pay attention to their gases and refused to heed my warnings. I signaled them that I headed back and went to the surface and got back to the boat. One of them ran out of air and needed a rescue.

I will not jeopardize my safety because my buddies are inconsiderate.

Can't stress enough about plan your dive and dive your plan. Talk it out. Talk not just about emergency procedures but about the dive's objectives. How long are we going to be under? What depth? Directions? What's turn-around gas? What are we trying to see? Maybe some prefer to look at corals and some prefer to chase after fish. This is the time to find out and plan for the objective of the dive. Not when you jump into the water and one wants to go this way and the other wants to go the other way and end up resenting each other.

 

[Zen1300]

You can probably ask 100 people their response to a certain scenario and get a wide variety of answers.

That's the point of my post. I'm interested on everyone's opinions and not looking for a right/wrong solution.

Thanks for your input regarding rescue cert. I look forward to the challenge.

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[Zen1300]

In some cases---------1 death is better than 2......also, you can ask my buddy, his name is SOLO...

Very true.

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[Zen1300]

I find it quite interesting the replies giving advice on how I can be a better buddy.

Thank you to all that just answered the question. The wide range of responses is great.

It seems that most often when the risk of diving with someone is greater than the risk of leaving them.

I guess there are two issues that come into play - responsible and irresponsible divers. Once the irresponsible diver enters the water he/she becomes a danger to himself and others. At that point the "buddy code" goes out the window in favor for the least risk to dive safety.

Makes sense to me.

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[RJP]

I guess there are two issues that come into play - responsible and irresponsible divers. Once the irresponsible diver enters the water he/she becomes a danger to himself and others. At that point the "buddy code" goes out the window in favor for the least risk to dive safety.

Makes sense to me.

There's a difference between "irresponsible" and "reckless" and "dangerous." When it comes to the buddy code going out the window, I think there's a pretty wide gulf between "I'm not chasing you from 30fsw down to 200fsw!" and "He's kicking up too much silt, I'm outa here!"

Also, there's a big difference between "I won't buddy with you again" and "I'm no longer your buddy as of right this moment."

A word of caution, assuming your profile of 0-24 dives is correct: Being too quick to say the buddy system goes out the window gets pretty close to being an irresponsible diver yourself. I'd certainly opt to not dive with someone who seemed like they'd bail on me at the first sign of trouble.

 

[ptyx]

Also, there's a big difference between "I won't buddy with you again" and "I'm no longer your buddy as of right this moment."

And a huge difference as well between a communicated "I'm done - best luck to you if you want to keep going alone" and just taking off and not worrying if your no-longer-buddy will spend the rest of the dive looking for your body.

Team diving > breakup of the team back at the surface > underwater breakup by mutual agreement > just taking off.

 

[Akimbo]

Your sense of commitment is honorable, commendable, and correct. Just remember that commitment is the key word. The definition of that commitment requires reaching an understanding with your buddy before getting wet. Being assigned one a dive boat does not qualify.

Unless I agree to your definition, your only commitment to me would to be on or in the same ocean — unless you have something else to do. I know many photographers that consider a buddy someone allowed to observe them, as long as they don’t stir up the bottom or expect them to actually look back. A deal is a deal, just make sure you are reading the same contract.

Good contracts have contingency clauses. The "if we get separated" clause can be "see you on deck when we get there" or "surface and find each other immediately". The "I'm out of air" clause may be "I will give you my primary regulator with a 7' hose" or "you better know how to buddy breath". Don’t assume that people undergo or accept the same training you experience.

 

[fnfalman]

There's a difference between "irresponsible" and "reckless" and "dangerous." When it comes to the buddy code going out the window, I think there's a pretty wide gulf between "I'm not chasing you from 30fsw down to 200fsw!" and "He's kicking up too much silt, I'm outa here!"

Yep. I'm not going to call it quit right then and there unless I feel that I am exposed to unnecessary hazards.

Also, there's a big difference between "I won't buddy with you again" and "I'm no longer your buddy as of right this moment."

Totally concur. I have called the dive and went on my own or went back to the boat only four times so far. But that's because I felt that I was in imminent danger if I kept following my so called buddies. Even then I signaled them and let them know that I'm heading up or going different way, and not just took off on my own.

Most of the time (95%), the buddies are pretty good and I can't complain.

 

[SailNaked]

I have been fortunate to dive with reasonable divers. I have not had one dive to 200ft before I could stop them. I have had one or two bolt for the surface and I took my normal ascent rate to the top to see what the problem was. My biggest problem is when I am taking a picture and my buddy swims off. now I have to find them. I have dove with photographers when I did not have mine, I just hang above and to the left or right and wait for the photo to end.


Many people complain that their buddy did not stay with them, but why did they not stay with their buddy. you do not have a buddy, you are a buddy.

What is your buddy going to do when they have a problem? if you have left them maybe drown, do you really want that on your conscience with only your good reason why you left them to defend yourself at night before bed?