When is it ok to leave a buddy?

[M DeM]

I'm not expecting to have to do this... but then again, if my dive buddy starts hauling ass in a different direction than the dive master and the rest of the group, I'd feel pretty torn about following him or her.

I'm one of those newbies that's so focused on keeping my buddy and the DM in my sight that I don't notice any underwater life until it's practically flown up my nose. I suppose I'll be less prone to doing that once my navigation skills and confidence goes up.

But I've been reading the "Most Frightening Moments" thread and the "Bad Buddies" thread and whoa Nellie! Some folks sure do seem overly casual about diving and rather over-confident at times.

I hate the idea of someone having to surface by themselves (especially if they don't have a SMB) but I also wouldn't want to follow a buddy into decomp.

And of course, I don't want to be that buddy that leads someone into decomp. I'm not saying I'm the uber-buddy. But I do dive rather conservatively because I've only got a dozen or so dives under my belt.

 

[Cowfish Aesthetic]

I'm not expecting to have to do this... but then again, if my dive buddy starts hauling ass in a different direction than the dive master and the rest of the group, I'd feel pretty torn about following him or her.

I'm one of those newbies that's so focused on keeping my buddy and the DM in my sight that I don't notice any underwater life until it's practically flown up my nose. I suppose I'll be less prone to doing that once my navigation skills and confidence goes up.

But I've been reading the "Most Frightening Moments" thread and the "Bad Buddies" thread and whoa Nellie! Some folks sure do seem overly casual about diving and rather over-confident at times.

I hate the idea of someone having to surface by themselves (especially if they don't have a SMB) but I also wouldn't want to follow a buddy into decomp.

And of course, I don't want to be that buddy that leads someone into decomp. I'm not saying I'm the uber-buddy. But I do dive rather conservatively because I've only got a dozen or so dives under my belt.

No one can tell you what's right or wrong here, but I can tell you where my line is: I would follow my regular buddy (my wife) all the way up to the line of putting myself at risk of death if I thought it was necessary to do so to try to help her (e.g., she's dropping too deep). I would follow a stranger only as far as I could without significantly threatening my ability to return home to my wife. If they're wandering too far from the group in perfect vis and no current, sure, I'll follow the idiot. But if I'm already at 100' and they're out of reach and dropping away from me into the abyss below, I'll do everything in my power to get their attention, and then I'll get back to the boat as fast as I safely can in order to start the rescue/recovery process.

 

[TMHeimer]

NEVER leave your buddy. NOT even to collect shells or grab lobsters (happened to me as a newbie).

 

[northernone]

My commitment to my buddy is whatever we've discussed and agreed to topside. Period.

I need to be predictable to the best of my ability to fulfil my commitment as a "buddy".

This might be "See you back on the boat in two hours" or "I'm here for you to the end, even it kills me."

Mostly it's somewhere between those extremes and looks like: "We are here to help eachother until our help might severely impact our individual safety". I don't want a double fatality.

Cameron

 

[Cowfish Aesthetic]

NEVER leave your buddy. NOT even to collect shells or grab lobsters (happened to me as a newbie).

Then rephrase OP's question as "when is it okay to accept that your buddy has left or is leaving you?" There are plenty of situations when the risk posed by continuing to follow a buddy into a dangerous situation is unjustifiable.

 

[rabe]

My commitment to my buddy is whatever we've discussed and agreed to topside. Period.

Pretty much my policy.
Decide before and stick to the plan.

 

[wildbill9]

Hmmm. ....interesting question from a new diver. Good question! I am not married to my DM but I am to my buddy. I trust her more than a DM to look after me, after 35 years of diving together she has never let me down. It may come down to trust, who is more interested in your safety? We often discuss with the DM our interests diving, our experience level and past dives. They usually watch us for a brief period and once we have earned their trust they let us do our own thing as long as we follow basic dive plan. Would I leave my buddy? No! I am always close enough to alert her if she becomes to absorbed and enters an unsafe area. ( to deep, fast ascents ect.) IMHO the only time to intentionally leave your buddy would be if your life was in danger. Find a great dive buddy, then marry them Bill

 

[northernone]

IMHO the only time to intentionally leave your buddy would be if your life was in danger. Find a great dive buddy, then marry them Bill

Yes!
And doubly yes. Thank you for sharing the reminder this is possible! Glad you've created this in your life.

Cheers,
Cameron

 

[Cowfish Aesthetic]

Find a great dive buddy, then marry them Bill

Great advice.

Unless my wife is reading, in which case, honey, you're stuck with the dive buddy you've got.

 

[Eric Sedletzky]

Wow, all the possibilities and scenarios, responsibilities, how far to follow, the personal threshold of danger, the blown plans, the buddy that bails or turns into a complete selfish idiot like there was never a plan.
This is why so many of us have elected to dive solo. Not that you should, I’m just saying.
On charter boats this could be tough even with a solo card, a lot just don’t like it.
What would I do?
Well, there would be a plan. If the buddy blew the plan and took off then I would make one attempt to get his/her attention with a WTF! signal. If the buddy continued to be under the idiot spell and refused to get with the program then they’d be on their own. Buddy diving means buddy diving and not sprinting off like some kind of 2 year old with no rules.
If it was some sort of ripping current or hard down current or some other unforeseen dangerous circumstance and we’re both in it then that’s different, we work together to get out of it and help each other, that’s what solid competent buddies do.
But I’ve had to rescue bad buddies in the past that lost all common sense and sanity on dives and did stupid sh_t that was completely uncalled for. I’m not going to put myself in that situation again. A stress dive because of a moron is a one shot deal for me.