When is it OK for a dive buddy to leave another diver?

[offthewall1]

Allowing one buddy to return to the boat / entry point while one or more buddies continues on - is OK - as long as the continuation doesn't occur until the continuing buddy/s is/are 100% certain the aborting buddy has safely made it back to the boat / entry point. Continuing on without this confirmation is unacceptable. No man/woman should be left to fend for him/herself in the open ocean when they entered with others. While I don't depend on my buddies for anything, I also don't expect them to ditch me until they have assured I'm safely back onboard.

I have often had to double back to check on someone - only to find they aborted or were in the process of aborting the dive. I hung out unde rthe boat until I saw the second fin disappear onto the swim platform. I know of enough occurrences where this did not occur... and it cost someone their life.

Strong currents certainly present challenges for ensuring aborted divers return safely... but while it is challenging - it is not impossible - especially if the boat is properly set up for diving in strong currents.

 

[ScubaLeeber]

MK 706, Right on, Brother. You summed it up pretty well.

 

[highflier]

I agree with a lot of what was posted, Here are a few more thoughts
Elle, put yourself in your buddies position, ears hurt and they can not go down any futher, Feeling presured knowing your fear, they may have continued down to the point where the pressure was unbarable. If you did not understand the hand signals, then you should stay with buddy. They may have or do feel that you abondoned them. Since you are a new diver, mistakes happen, learn from them do not be dejected or upset with my comments.

When to leave a buddy, quick rule is never but then there are exceptions.

When there is a desperate situation, you have to do what is needed, if that is help yourself, or another non-buddy diver. Think about it, if your buddy is OK and another diver is in distress, who really needs the help. If there is no issue at hand, Then stay with buddy.

I hope you continue to dive, But do not do it in a way that you have great fear, There is no fun in that and it will lead to bad decisions.

No matter what the boat DM does, Your job is aways to look out for yourself. Do not feel presured to go deeper then you want, A good post I saw recently was a bout a new diver that was lead into tunnels, They did not want to but felt presured to. As a result they got stuck for a short period of time. All ended ok, but in after thought the diver learned that he will not be presured into things that he is not comfortable with.

I suggest going to some shallow reef dives, I.E. less then 20 feet, clear warm water. Stay in those kind of dive enviroment until you are relaxed, then progress into deeper dives. Quite frankly I think most will agree that some of the best diving is in shallow water, Visiblity is good, and there is always tons to see on a reef. As you get deeper it gets darker and colors fade. My wife and I have not dove in a while and are just now buying our own gear. We already know that the first several dives will be a nearby reef that we snorkel frequently. Funny thing is we are looking forward to it, even though I do get bottom time of 15-20 seconds via my snorkel and lungs. Now I will be able to get 40+ min of bottom time.

highflier

 

[nimoh]

there are some great replies on this question, and things I probably wouldn't have thought of if I had not read them.

My two cents: If I were in a similar situation, I would have followed my buddy up the rope and aborted the dive. My training is that buddies stick together and anyone can abort any dive at any time for any reason.

You said your buddy pointed to his head, which I interpret as he pointed to his ear indicating he couldn't equalize, and then went up (probably expecting you to follow). Now, if we take that part out of the equation and start the story with you hanging off the rope by yourself feeling very anxious, is going up or going down a better option?

I'm glad things worked out, and I hope you keep diving, but keep in mind that the limits of your training don't have to be your limits...your limits can be much less. I would recommend (as others have) to stick to 20 foot dives and only move on to deeper dives when the 20 foot dives are completely enjoyable with no stress.

 

[highflier]

By the way,
If your buddy is a insta buddy and you do follow them up and abort the dive, What is the policy of most dive boats, Do you get a refund, You did not dive cause they matched you up with a insta buddy that had a problem. I would hate to think that ppl are forced to choose between safety and money at the time of a dive.

Highflier

 

[nimoh]

good point highflier, and although I would take safety over money every time, I would hope that the dive operation would want to make it up to me.

 

[Ozwald]

Now while way more experienced divers have already commented here's my opinion FWIW. Never! I would never leave someone alone and i would expect the same. Descend at the the same rate always asking if each other are okay with the standard signal. Problem.....you both abort. Someone said something about descending until they could no longer stand the pain.....dumbass thing to do.

I think the problem lies with not making it perfectly clear PRIOR to entering the water what each other expects from a buddy. My buddy and I have it down to a T....my eyes on him and his on me, striking distance on ascent/descent and max 10 feet at depth.....not negociable. One of us decides to call the dive no questions asked, just do it and discuss on the surface what the issue was/is.

I really hope this doesn't turn you off altogether. Personally I wouldn't let one or two a$$holes ruin it for me. But I must say the dude who pushed me or my friend off of the boat would definitley be looking for a carreer were he didn't need the use of his arms!

 

[highflier]

Now while way more experienced divers have already commented here's my opinion FWIW. Never! I would never leave someone alone and i would expect the same. Descend at the the same rate always asking if each other are okay with the standard signal. Problem.....you both abort. Someone said something about descending until they could no longer stand the pain.....dumbass thing to do.

I think the problem lies with not making it perfectly clear PRIOR to entering the water what each other expects from a buddy. My buddy and I have it down to a T....my eyes on him and his on me, striking distance on ascent/descent and max 10 feet at depth.....not negociable. One of us decides to call the dive no questions asked, just do it and discuss on the surface what the issue was/is.

I really hope this doesn't turn you off altogether. Personally I wouldn't let one or two a$$holes ruin it for me. But I must say the dude who pushed me or my friend off of the boat would definitley be looking for a carreer were he didn't need the use of his arms!

I would not recommend going until pain. I was just stating maybe that is why buddy took off to surface. after a very quick notify to the OP.

OP are you still reading this thread. I hope so as we all encourage you to try again in a fun safe way. I found that my wife likes sure dives better as she does not feel the hustle and bustle from the dive boat that way.
Highflier

 

[nimoh]

couldn't agree more, Ozwald.

When diving with my regular buddies, we have eye contact during the descent, and all are well versed in the normal hand signals.

When I am diving with new people, I will usually go over at least the signals for ok, problem and abort, and have them agree that if anyone gives a thumbs up, the dive is over. I try not to sound like a blowhard on the dive boat, but think that these three signals are the most important.

Incidentally, I am from Winnipeg (although wasn't a diver when I lived there). Doing any ice diving out at West Hawk this year? (it is not my intention to hijack this thread though)

 

[ahava]

OP are you still reading this thread.

I think the OP has left the building. : )