What to do about a cheater?

[Morpheus]

Ladies I need your advise, I have a friend who is totally in love with a guy that lives in her condo complex, He is married and has 2 kids. He has told her that he has no intention of leaving his family but wants to continue their affair. they meet quite often for "some special times" while his wife is at work. I feel Bad for my friend because she doesnt even put an effort into meeting new people because she belives they will end up together. I feel I need to step in before she gets in too far and does something stupid. I feel like sending an anonymous letter to his wife without naming my friend. whats everyones thoughts?

 

[hnladue]

I'd tell the wife.... Only because, if I were in the situation (the wife) I would want someone to tell me.

 

[The Kraken]

Send an anonymous note to the husband threatening to divulge his secret if he doesn't break it off ?????

 

[MtnDiver]

I feel I need to step in before she gets in too far and does something stupid. I feel like sending an anonymous letter to his wife without naming my friend. whats everyones thoughts?

Depends on how much you value your freindship. There's a very high probablility that your "anonymous" letter could do more harm than good. Who knows, the wife might be a "Basic Instinct" type of woman and go psycho.

 

[The Kraken]

That's true, but if the letter were sent to the husband, it could come from possibly an number of sources. I dare say he's probably mentioned his conquest to one or two of his buddies.

A note to the husband would give him the opportunity to end the liasion at his discretion and in a manner he thinks least destructive.

 

[shugar]

Ladies I need your advise, I have a friend who is totally in love with a guy that lives in her condo complex, He is married and has 2 kids. He has told her that he has no intention of leaving his family but wants to continue their affair. they meet quite often for "some special times" while his wife is at work. I feel Bad for my friend because she doesnt even put an effort into meeting new people because she belives they will end up together. I feel I need to step in before she gets in too far and does something stupid. I feel like sending an anonymous letter to his wife without naming my friend. whats everyones thoughts?

now THIS is definitely a non-diving related question if i ever saw one!

on the topic: from a sensitive guy's perspective? TELL THE WIFE... i'd even do it in person (not w/ your friend around of course)

reasons:

1. anonymous letters can be countered with "someone is out to get me" or "you believe all the junk in the mail?" (read: it's BS, don't believe it, i'm faithful to you bla bla bla)
2. he's cheating on his wife... NUFF SAID
3. they get caught in flagrante, they get divorced, kids are scarred for life... NUFF SAID
4. whatever happens, YOUR friend is getting the (very) short end of the stick - a real friend won't let that happen to a friend... if you really genuinely feel you don't want to see your friend hurt then i'd say hurt her a little now to save her from a much bigger hurt later on...
5. would YOU like your husband cheating on you AND nobody told you even if (like now) all 35000 members of scubaboard know about it??? didn't think so...
6. and what if your friend gets knocked up? who's answering for the love child??? get an abortion? HELLO!?!? (and i don't care what anybody thinks about this issue, i think abortion is wrong! period!)
7. finally, if talking hasn't worked, nor has pleading, nor has a good ***** slap... then it's time to take matters to a slightly higher level

hope this helps...

Jag

PS
i feel really strongly about this... i'm surrounded by GORGEOUS students all day... some with their hormones dripping... i'm not ugly and i can sweet talk my way into favors that would make a priest faint...

but i'm not stupid... and i love my wife...

it's guys who can't keep their winkies in their pants and are to chicken **** to go up to their current partners and say: "i'm seeing someone else" that give decent, hardworking, faithful men like me a bad name

 

[MtnDiver]

[*]they get caught in flagrante, they get divorced, kids are scarred for life... NUFF SAID

And you're saying this is a good thing?

I can also see it playing out as "You send a letter to the wife, she files for divorce, kids are scarred for life..."

If you feel compelled to do something, I like Kraken's idea of sending the letter to the husband.

 

[Randy43068]

Stay out of it...

Both are adults and don't need YOU to meddle. The issue is between the two of these people, not you.

Obviously she's not a good decision maker and will do this again. She needs to understand the underlying reason she's interested in a dead end relationship. One day, the situation will resolve itself so stay out of it. It's not your business.

 

[DennisS]

Myob

 

[cyklon_300]

1. Stop
2. Look in mirror
3. Identify 50 things to fix in your own life

That should keep you busy enough where you won't have time to meddle.