What do I teach My Son?

[SterlingDiver]

In my household of many women (who I love dearly, and dive with me, which is even better) I have one only son. He is thirteen and has been SSI OW certified for about a year. He is very bright and his diving skills are quite good already, but, he also seems to have no fear. This trait is great on the sports field but I worry about his aggressivness that it will get him killed before he reaches maturity.

If you could teach one or two things that would help him be not only a skilled diver but a safe, smart diver, what would it be and how would teach him those things?

BTW, he is going to SeaCamp this next summer and his Dad won't be there to keep from diving too deep or long, etc.

A concerned Dad/Diver

SterlingDiver

 

[DA Aquamaster]

Buy him a copy of "The Last Dive" for Christmas.

 

[Kayla]

.... the Last Dive would work, but you don't want to scare him out of it completley. I know the thing that always worked for me was when my parent/s sat down with me, and told me exactly what could happen and ways to prevent it. If all else failed, they would make it personal and bring in a mysterious "friend" that had had an experience exactly like the one we were talking about. I think that the more your honest with your kida, the more there going to have a tendancy to believe you! Just my 0.02 anyway!

Kayla

 

[RICHinNC]

You might consider a call or visit to the camp and speak with the camp director about his lack of fear, but your level of fear.

Having worked at a similar type camp many many years ago... i know the owners of the camp would appreciate that kind of knowledge about one of its participants.

 

[ElectricZombie]

Teach him the basics of DIR.

Buying him "The Last Dive" and other similiar books is a good idea.

 

[jiveturkey]

I think just being a good role model may be quite a bit on it's own. The fact that you're asking this question shows that you probably doing ok in this aspect and he'll pick up on that. At his age, he might not want to tell you that he thinks you're cool for diving with him, but I guarrantee deep down, he feels it. When he gets older, he'll appreciate it even more.

For the time being just make sure you continue to cross your diving "t"s and dot your diving "i"s because he's watching you. Explaining why you do the things you do lets him come to his own logical conclusions. If he sees his Dad acting responsibly he'll more than likely follow suit.

 

[Walter]

Fearless isn't a bad thing if he's still cautious. If he is, you have nothing over which to worry. If he's not, don't let him dive until his attitude changes. You might remind him that DCS can cause impotence. He may be old enough for that to instill some caution.

 

[DA Aquamaster]

I agree that proper role modeling is important but it can have a down side. I have a 15 year and 1000+ dive head start on my son and if I am not real careful he starts feeling inferior.

He has a lot of natural athletic ability and is competetive by nature so it bothers him that dad is a better diver. Continue to teach him a new techniques along the way but do it in a very positive and supportive manner.

I have also noted my son is fairly normal when diving with just me but pushes it a bit to when other people are along. He likes to impress freinds and other divers on the boat, so those are the times I have to watch him.

 

[reubencahn]

I have an 11 year old son who has exhibited the same attitude. He was certified at age 10 and the first year of diving with him caused me great grief. I couldn't enjoy diving at all, I was so busy watching him. Over the first year, I spoke to him continually about this and told him that if I didn't see a change, he would have to stop diving until he was older. This was reinforced by the instructor who taught him. I don't know if this did any good or not, but over the next year, he became somewhat calmer and more responsible. After much agonizing, we took him on a trip to Fiji last summer. Diving day after day with a small group of safety-concious divers did him a world of good. Seeing that other divers were actually concerned about risks helped to convince him that dad and mom were not being overly protective. It also helped that he dove in difficult conditions (currents) which gave him a reminder that the ocean is more powerful than he. If you get a chance, have your son dive with some other good, safety concious divers. That way he can see that safety is not just something that you alone are worried about. Because being the father of a 13 year old boy, you know that you are a MORON. You will be until he is about 30.

 

[pasley]

13, Ahhhh, the wonder years. When you wonder how you will keep from killing them yourself!

Others have given good advice. But perhaps you could get a copy of a PBS video I saw about two months ago. It talked about Red Lobster and the divers in South America that they use to harvest their lobster and other stuff. High DCS rates (divers have no training). The video of the men sitting on the front porch, with tubes running up under the towel on there lap, paralyzed from DCI.

Other than that, hopefully you could just sit him down and have a calm, frank discussion. The trouble is, at that age they do not think it will happen to them. They can't explain why it won't, or what special power they posses, but they just know it won't.

Unfortunately, what you are experiencing is a function of two things, one is mental development their brain is not fully developed yet and they know no fear. At that age, they are truly fearless. The other is maturity.

This is also why; I and many others believe children under 16 should not be diving (and some of us think 18 is too young). They are bright, and capable, but truly believe nothing bad will happen to them. They might even hold their breath while ascending just to prove a point. This topic has been discussed on this forum to death. I am certian you gave it much thought before he got certified. Trouble is, kids change. At age 12 he may have actually acted quite mature and thoughtfull, then at age 13 he knows everything and has no fear, and no ability to see consequences and long term pictures.