This is something I worry about as well. As a 5'5", 110lb (barely...110 on a heavy day!!) woman, I am TINY. I have carried double AL80s around. They're no problem on my back, or in the water. It's just lifting them up from ground level that I find hard. I've only worn them in the pool but I did manage to climb the ladder up onto the pool deck. It's kinda amusing, actually, that with tanks and weight belt combined, I am carrying nearly my entire body weight. It's not easy, and I worry about when I switch to steels and add stage bottles....eventually. But, alas, this is the direction I want to take my diving, so I will do what I have to do!!
Regarding help. I have asked for help before. I will continue to ask for help. In all honesty, when you're as small as me, and you have to carry all that weight around, sometimes asking for help is your only option, unless you want to break yourself. And the people I have asked are always willing to help out. I probably should try to beef up a bit and gain more muscle mass. i CAN move all the gear around, it's just really hard. And if someone is around to help out, and they are willing help, and I am willing to be helped, I don't see why it should be an issue.