Julie,
What type of drysuit do you own?
1. In some, such as DUI, there is a double layer of fabric on the torso such that a hood with a cowl, called a 'warm neck' hood, will fit on your head and allow the cowl part to be tucked in between the two layers of fabric.
While the name is rather obvious, this does prevent those trickles of cold water from entering your hood around the neck area. I find it a warmer option than drysuits that do not offer this feature.
2. Regardless of what type of drysuit you own, it is generally possible to have a 'dry hood' installed. Like most choices, these bring their own consequences - including the need for some sort of skullcap between the latex hood and your head. Viking makes one type, there are likely others.
3. A third option is a Henderson Ice Hood beneath your standard hood - bulky, but it covers most of your face and I found it definitely a plus when diving beneath ice. It will stop the ice cream headaches, but can cut down on peripheral vision and hearing. Be careful with this one in your kit if you use KY jelly to ease your wrist seals on, it makes you look like an escapee from Mistress Needra's Dungeon of Pain. Your buddy make give you a look.
4. Take a look at dry gloves. While there are drawbacks, they keep your hands much warmer in 39 degree water. Numb hands at the end of the dive can, under unfortunate circumstances, make it hard to do things that sometimes desperately need to be done. So, dry gloves are an investment in safety as well as comfort.
There are many threads on which dry gloves are better, etc. Basically the ones that fit you best are the best for you! Most importantly, make sure you can manipulate your valves wearing the gloves - some drygloves are thicker than others. Try before you buy. Many women on this board have them, and I'd contact a few of the women to find a set of rings and gloves that will work with your suit and your hands.
Hope this helps.
Doc