Things I have learned...

[The Chairman]

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

6. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

7. If all is not lost, where is it?

8. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

9. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

14. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

15. It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.

16. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

20. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

21. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

23. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE POSTED THIS OR NOT!

24. Funny, I don't remember being . . . . . absent minded...

 

[The Chairman]

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

6. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

7. If all is not lost, where is it?

8. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

9. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

14. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

15. It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.

16. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

20. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

21. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

23. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE POSTED THIS OR NOT!

24. Funny, I don't remember being . . . . . absent minded...

 

[wstein]

Funny, I don't remember being . . . . . absent minded...



Paul =-)

 

[The Chairman]

The eyes are the 2nd thing to go...I forget the first.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once-or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

If I say the word "sooth", does that make me a sooth-sayer?

An apology is a good way to have the last word.

Definition: OBSOLETE: Any computer you own.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

If history repeats itself, I think we can expect the same thing all over again.

A proverb is a short sentence based upon long experience.

What this country needs is someone who knows what this country needs.

 

[Wristshot]

those who get binary and those who don't.

 

[The Chairman]

0100 types of people :tease:

 

[cat]

even though I told this binary joke myself a while back. Ok, NetDoc - I'll bite. Are the other 0010 types out of the 0100 you cite thise who THINK they understand binary but don't and those who do understand binary but think they don't? 0100 bin = 4 dec and 0010 dec is 1010 bin.

I've been up too long today and I'm jonesing for a dive but I'm just not getting this, ah, base humour.

NetDoc once bubbled...
0100 types of people :tease:

 

[The Chairman]

first digit = 1
second digit = 2
third digit = 4
fourth digit = 8

You can count from 1 (1000) up to 15 (1111) with these four digits. 2 would be 0100.

 

[Charlie99]

NetDoc once bubbled...
first digit = 1
second digit = 2
third digit = 4
fourth digit = 8

You can count from 1 (1000) up to 15 (1111) with these four digits. 2 would be 0100.

Wristshot and Cat are using the more standard form of writing numbers, where the least significant bit/digit is on the right.

Most people would consider 1000 binary to be 8 decimal.

000000010 and 010 and 10 (binary) are the same number. 2 decimal.

As Wristshot said "There are 10 kinds of people
those who get binary and those who don't."

 

[The Chairman]

Binary is NOT the same as the Base 2 I learned in High School. Thanks for the lesson.

Definition of binary