I agree with many of your points. I dove camera free for over 20yrs but have become addicted to the aluminum housed monster. While I think there are many bigger threats to the reefs than divers with cameras I do think diving photogs need to set the standard for excellent buoyancy and being reef friendly. At our website we have the following posted on our Conservation Page:
Aquablue Dreams
Our Guidelines to Nature Photography
1. Always try to minimize our impact on the subject.
2. We will not move, handle, coax or prod any animal to capture a "better" photo.
3. We will not move, handle or disturb any coral or other structure to get a "better" photo of a subject.
4. We will be very conscious of our buoyancy in an attempt to avoid coming in contact with the reef or bottom.
5. Only one finger on the reef (dead section) to capture a photo.* If this is not possible than we will forgo the picture.
6. If we see a fellow diver harming the reef or its creatures intentionally or by accident we will no longer keep silent. We will try, with as much tact as possible, to raise the subject of protecting that which we have all come to SEE!
7. We will let guides know that we do not look for them to manipulate in any way the creatures and settings we have come to capture in pixels.
In fact I am researching trying to get something like the above adopted by the major training agencies and dive operations. I don't want to hijack the thread but my research with some major players shows all agree something should be done but all feel it has to start within the community itself. Then the dive ops and agencies can sign on without looking like they are trying to be the reef police.
If this is something you are interested in getting involved in feel free to PM me. I am starting to look for ideas of how to get folks organized to support some Guidelines for Diving Photographers.