Suggestions please for relaxing, healing 'real' destination with good diving...

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Let me offer condolences on your bereavement.

I have a couple of suggestions. You could go to Utila (in Honduras' bay islands). I have stayed at Deep Blue Dive Resort. It is fairly inexpensive so you could unwind. It is a pretty small resort and is quite private. The food is good. The diving is very good. The boat is small and you will be in a small group. They do 3 dives/day. They have a beach (not a great one). The setting is good in a grove of trees. The rooms are very nice. Utila is a rather strange place. It is on the "backpacker circuit" Now when I think "backpacker", I think people hiking in the wilderness. In this case, it means college aged people who stick all their stuff on their backs and try to go to a place that is cheap. My wife and I walked around town. She decided that the backpackers saved money on soap by not bathing and used the savings to buy marijuana.

Another place that is nice is Little Cayman Beach resort. Obviously, it is on Little Cayman. Again it is a remote place. It is a bigger resort than Deep Blue. It has a beach and it is reasonably nice. It has a good pool. The food is very good. The diving is superb. You can do 3 dives per day. People gather around the little bar by the pool before, during and after dinner. Socializing is pretty easy.

Both of the above are pretty remote. Neither has what one could call "night life".
 
Buddy Dive Bonaire
CocoView Resort Roatan

freedom to dive whenever you want, no pretty beaches, but places to hang out overlooking water, shore diving is best in Caribbean at either place.
 
Bali. It's perfect for what you need. You could dive around the Tulamben area with shore dives or short boat rides all up and down the coast there. I like the sandy beach in front of Scuba Seraya and Vila Markisa since it's easy in and out (no rocks) and the dive sites there are quite wonderful (Seraya Secrets and Noisy Reef). I can dive those sites two hours a day every day. If you want a break from diving, there are temples, garden palaces, and rice paddy terraces you can visit to soothe your soul.

Another place might be Perhentian Island in Malaysia. Lots of beach, easy diving (not exactly world-class but very pleasant).
 
Bali. It's perfect for what you need. You could dive around the Tulamben area with shore dives or short boat rides all up and down the coast there. I like the sandy beach in front of Scuba Seraya and Vila Markisa since it's easy in and out (no rocks) and the dive sites there are quite wonderful (Seraya Secrets and Noisy Reef). I can dive those sites two hours a day every day. If you want a break from diving, there are temples, garden palaces, and rice paddy terraces you can visit to soothe your soul.

Another place might be Perhentian Island in Malaysia. Lots of beach, easy diving (not exactly world-class but very pleasant).
There's nothing like expert advice.

We used to see a lot of Black-tip Sharks in the Perhentians, even snorkeling off the beach. Are they all soup?
 
Koromakawa - Fiji
Southern Cross Club - Little Cayman Island
Turneffe Island Resort - Belize (Turneffe Island)
 
There's nothing like expert advice.

We used to see a lot of Black-tip Sharks in the Perhentians, even snorkeling off the beach. Are they all soup?

No, they're not all soup! You can still see black-tips at shallow snorkeling areas.
 
No, they're not all soup! You can still see black-tips at shallow snorkeling areas.
That's good to hear. I have not seen many anywhere else in the region.

Alice (OP), coming from London, the convenience of Caribbean destinations that makes them so appealing to us Americans is not quite there for you. Caribbean diving can be pleasant, especially if a direct flight from New York puts you on a dive boat the same afternoon. But, generally speaking, it pales in quality compared to Southeast Asian diving. Just something to keep in mind as you weigh the advice you are getting.
 
That's good to hear. I have not seen many anywhere else in the region.
Near here, we've got them at Phi Phi. But they are so shy that mostly we just get a flashing glimpse as they streak past.
 
A lot of great suggestion in this thread, I would like to ad another one
Old Providence Island fits your quote to a tee.
Somewhere quite simple & 'real' would be ideal - not a plasticky resort type place.
Search Old Providence or Providencia will get you some information.
If you have any questions about it feel free to contact me.
Ciao
Tad
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/teric/

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