Special rules - Please Read

[Rick Murchison]

The purpose of this forum is the promotion of safe diving through the examination and discussion of accidents and incidents; to find lessons we can apply to our own diving.
Accidents, and incidents that could easily have become accidents, can often be used to illustrate actions that lead to injury or death, and their discussion is essential to building lessons learned from which improved safety can flow. To foster the free exchange of information valuable to this process, the "manners" in this forum are much more tightly controlled than elsewhere on the board. In addition to the TOS:

From NetDoc:

• Someone has died or been injured. Please show the proper dignity, etiquette and refrain from any demeaning remarks. We discourage the family from reading these threads, but you can bet they still will. Let's be civil, sensitive and still remain relevant. This forum is only intended for learning and not assigning blame.
• This is a strict 'No Troll' and 'No Chest Thumping' zone. It's not the place to keep repeating your favorite topic no matter how important or relevant you may imagine it to be. Nor is it the place to tell us how this wouldn't have happened if they dove/taught the way you do.
• You may not use real names here, until after they have appeared in the public domain (articles, news reports, sheriff's report etc.) Please cite the source if you do.
• Discussions should only be about the causes, theories and remedies for these accidents. Off topic posts or those with off topic comments may be removed without notice. Condolences, including comments indicating surprise and indignation, should be kept to the Passings Forum, legal action should be kept to the Scuba Related Court Cases Forum and so forth.
• If you are presenting information from a source other than your own eyes and ears, please cite the source. Links are preferred.
• Those who can not seem to follow these rules will have their access to this forum quickly revoked. As always, you should use the report button rather than bicker about possible infractions in the thread.

It is important for us as a community to assess and discuss diving accidents and incidents as a means of preventing them. However, once emotions are involved, intelligent discussion becomes next to impossible. If the moderators feel that the discussion is getting out of hand in any thread they may close or remove the thread, with or without notice.
Uncle Pug

As to condolences in the A&I forum…

I work at a church, so if a bereaved needs comfort they can come to us. We have the tools, experience and education to give comfort and care and help, and we are trained and equipped to do so. That is one of the right places for this kind of help. The A&I forum is not. IMO, the random condolences of strangers may be a band-aid for some, but in the end it does little to help someone through the grieving process in the long run.

Wanna help someone you know who has had a loss? Here's one way:

After the flowers and the ceremonies and the lines of people giving condolences and the cards and the tears and the hugs are all over, a surviving family member goes home and has to learn to begin living without the loved one. Usually alone, or close to it. All the people who where there for the ceremony have gone back to their lives and don't think much about it.

But the next two years are when the person really needs you. That is the work of the process of learning to live with the loss.

Commit to calling, writing or seeing the person once a week (or two weeks) for two years. It doesn't take a lot of time. Just send a note, or call to see how they are doing, or have lunch together. That will mean about a million times more than a hug at the funeral, when everything is crazy and they are still in shock.

If something were to happen to me, and one of you were to send an email to My wife once in a while saying something like, "Just reading one of Rick's old posts on the board and wanted to say how much I miss reading his ridiculous thoughts," that would be worth a ton to my wife and go a long way to help.

The feeling of loss never goes away, the person just learns to live with it, and most times live well. But people need long term care (love). And a post from a stranger on the internet may not really help much in the long run.