kwesler
Contributor
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce
the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
the
six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. The public buys
your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and
market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute..
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce
the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
the
six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. The public buys
your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and
market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute..