As a famous man (Frank Oz) once said:
"Do, or do not. There is no try."
Best of luck Kim. I did it cold turkey after 20 years of 2 packs a day (4 packs when I worked retail). It took a solid 6 months before I quit reaching for my pocket while driving. I haven't smoked since January 2000 and I don't miss it. At the same time, I'm not a PITA to those around me who choose to smoke, other than I won't let them smoke in my home or my truck.
If you need assistance from the patch or gum, do it. The nicotine is not good for you, but it's better than what it's replacing, and it will help you. The cost is about the same as smoking.