Should I help or disappear??

[Scott M]

Diverlady,

Let me get this straight.

What your suggesting is that I grab my dive buddies and sit on the pool deck sipping Margaritas while we keep a watchfull eye on the situation. Now why didn't I think of that?

Warren, good idea - a little pre check would be prudent. A bad instructor could easily ruin the experience for her.

Scott

 

[GDI]

:doctor:
My husband is an instructor(I'm on his sign in) . When he comes accross this kind of thing he has the one member ask the other if they want them there. If they don't not a problem, if they do He then tells the certified diver not to interfere and to let the other person work it out. If something happens and the person panics My husband deals with it concentrating on the person learning and not the certified diver. He has asked people to leave the pool. So it is important to ask your other what they want you to do and then ask the instructor how they want to work it.

Good LuCK

 

[sealkie]

what does she want you to do - if she wants you near by for moral support then go - keep in mind the instructor may not allow you to be in the pool - if she wants to do this in private then leave her to it


Having said that - if your wife is the nervous type I suggest you speak to her about doing the pool work locally as a full course before you go - resort courses can be very fast and a little short on content - not good for the nervous types who may need time to get comfortable

 

[Scott M]

GDI - I agree that the instructor would have to be in complete charge and IF she wanted me there it would be for moral support only. This of course would only be after we checked out the instructor for our comfort level.


Sealkie - That would be the ideal situation but instruction at this time of year in our area has pretty much stopped and I think she liked the idea of tropical warm water pool setting as being a nice easy way to get her feet wet.

Scott

 

[smrtblnddiver]

I'd still say no to even sitting on the side of the pool and watching. It would be a little too "Big Brother-ish" for me whether I was your wife or the instructor, or even the other students. If I was your wife I would be worried that you would jump into the pool and try to help if I struggled in even a small way. But, that's me.

But, as has been said already, ask your wife what she wants, then ask the instructor when you get there. He/She might not allow you to be there.

If I had a SO and he wanted to learn to dive as your wife does (in tropical water on a vacation) I would help check out the instructor and then I'd get lost and do my own thing. Unless I felt like practicing my skills in the pool with another buddy.

 

[diverlady]

Scott M once bubbled...
Diverlady,

Let me get this straight.

What your suggesting is that I grab my dive buddies and sit on the pool deck sipping Margaritas while we keep a watchfull eye on the situation. Now why didn't I think of that?

Warren, good idea - a little pre check would be prudent. A bad instructor could easily ruin the experience for her.

Scott

Well, it might be a bit intimidating if ALL your buddies were there sipping Maragaritas. Maybe just a couple of you there. Unless, of course, your wife is adamant that you NOT be there.

I watched a girlfriend do the pool course which didn't bother her at all (different situation than yours, of course) and ended up going in the water, with the instructor's permission, just to sit on the bottom for 5 mins with her. She was uncomfortable doing that alone. We did a reg removal and recovery, cleared mask etc while putting in the required 5 min u/w. Worked out fine. I had checked out the instructor previously and was confident he would be thorough.

I did watch a pool session at another resort and that instructor was horrible. Basically, the guys taking the pool course panicked, jumped to the surface, dumped their gear and got out of the water refusing to go back. Now this instructor didn't take any time with them. He basically just got the gear on them and told them to go for a swim. I had seen the same instructor earlier with a group of women students and he took more time with them and they ended up having a pleasant scuba experience that the male group did not. Unfortunate really.

Diverlady

 

[Uncle Pug]

... but I'll give my take on it with an anecdote:

Years and years ago my wife did a discover scuba type thing in the pool while we were in Maui. She decided that she would like to get certified so we signed her up for the class.

I went along.

The class was fairly small with one instructor and no DMs. They had a gear orientation/classroom session sitting on the beach and then the instructor took them out into 10'~15' of water where they were seriously jostled by the surge and proceeded with his skills demonstration.

They then swam out into 40' of water where upon he began taking pictures of the tourists who were in the *class* for the photo op. I didn't find out until later that the class was really just a quickie to sell pictures and that he added my wife and a couple of others in for certification.

Fortunately I was shadowing the *class* on the in-water portion just to observe and as soon as I saw what was taking place I came to my wife's rescue as she was see-sawing between crashing into the bottom and rocketing to the surface.

I helped calm her down and stayed with her until we exited with the rest of the *class* (which didn't take all that long since once the pictures were taken the *instructor* was done with his *lesson*.)

She did not go back and has no desire to ever dive again.

 

[sealkie]

Is there really no dive shop that will just do the pool and classroom for you ? I live in NYC and we teach the pool stuff all year round - might be worth giving the LDS a call - there may be private lessons available - you can take the pool and class at home and then complete the check out dives somewhere tropical.

I have heard some real horror stories from students about resort courses - natural water confident people do fine with them but for many nervous students it has been the end of any attempts to learn to dive. Someone who is nervous often just needs time to take things at their pace - they want to feel in control - a resort class usually does not allow time for that - unless you luck out and get a class to yourself

It would be a shame having reached this point for her to be put off by a class that just makes her feel uncomfortable

 

[Scott M]

smrtblnddiver -

I can see your point but I'm not sure I could disappear completely. I am more of the protective type personality. Maybe I could hide behind a corner post at the bar, I mean palm tree by the pool. Did I say bar, I really didn't mean the bar, ya thats it didn't mean the bar.

Diverlady -

So your telling me that 5 of us drinking cocktails raising he** watching would not be real smart. I guess I should put some more thought into that.

I would like to be somewhere not to far away in case like you say she would like a familiar person there with her. I guess I'll have to find a bigger bar corner post for all of us err palm tree.

UnclePug

I've been to Hawaii and can picture your story in my head, that had to be scary. It's to bad that something that should have been an enjoyable event turned out badly. Truely disappointing.

Even though the resort course is in the pool it would not take a lot to sour the experience. You can not say enough about the right instructor.

Sealkie

I took my OW course as a private lesson with my dive buddy and had a great experience. One of the problems is that he only works in this area during the summer when he is not teaching 165 miles away, I would have complete confidence in her using him but that would not be until summer. The resort course was really her idea of something to try. If we are not 100% confident in his/her abilities and/or experience then we will simply walk away.

Thanks again
Scott

 

[GQMedic]

While all the advice from the others is great, and it seems to be the general thought that you should disappear, one thing is missing...

Have you asked HER what she wants? She may want you there, albeit, with a camera so you can take pix of her transformation from land lubber to diver, or just watch so you can both talk about and relive the experience of her OW course.

Advice from others ABOUT her goes so far, the best informant about her feelings and thoughts will always BE her.