Should I help or disappear??

[Scott M]

Hi all,

I'm am not sure if I am asking this in the right forum or not, if not feel free to move it.

My wife and I will be going to Playa Del Carmen this February with several other couples, the men all dive. I just received my C-Card myself.

Several times she has expressed a small interest in seeing what all the hoopla of diving is about.

Her personality; She tends to be a bit of a panicer (is that a word?), she is an excellent swimmer, in great shape physically and has snorkled in the Bahamas before. Prior to the experience I was sure she would not leave the boat, but scared as she was she did it and loved it.

My question is this. She wants to try the resort course and see if she likes it or not. Should I go with her for support or will I just get in the way? I want her to do this because SHE wants to not because I want her to. I would love for her to dive with me but I have been careful not to force it on her.

Well, what do you think ladies? Would you want your SO there or do it on your own?

Thanks for any advice
Scott

 

[kelpmermaid]

I think she might feel pressured by your presence, and given your recent certification, you may also be better off concentrating on your own skills at the moment.
Have you asked her how she feels about it?
I decided to give it a try after I saw how much my SO enjoyed it. We had the same instructor, but I am glad we did not learn together. We dive together regularly and have a good time.

 

[sapphire]

Scott M once bubbled...


My question is this. She wants to try the resort course and see if she likes it or not. Should I go with her for support or will I just get in the way? I want her to do this because SHE wants to not because I want her to. I would love for her to dive with me but I have been careful not to force it on her.

Well, what do you think ladies? Would you want your SO there or do it on your own?

Thanks for any advice
Scott

Not knowing you or your wife, it is sure hard to give advice. Why don't you ask her if she wants you there... you could offer, but be prepared to let her do this on her own if that is how she feels. It is very considerate of you not to force the issue, especially if she is a "panicky" sort of person...

Best of luck with gaining a dive buddy!

sapphire

 

[smrtblnddiver]

Leave her alone.

If you go along, a number of things could occur:

1) You won't get much out of it, better to focus on your learning as has been said
2) She may feel she needs to do this for you
3) She may feel like you're watching her, adding to the pressure
4) You may feel like you want to give her constant "help" in the form of opinions on how to do things. But, what works for you may not work her and she might find a diferent way to do it.
5) She won't have you to lean on in any way, shape, or form. She'll learn to do it all herself, the best way to learn.

 

[Scott M]

Thanks for the reply's ladies,

I will ask and let her make the decision but I would tend to believe that on her own as suggested would be best. No pressure, completely her choice.

Great group of people here.

Scott

 

[Hoya97]

I agree in that as I don't know you, it's hard to give advice. But, based upon my experience teaching other couples, I would suggest you not be there. Let her experience it on her own. May be a refreshing change.

Also, SO's tend to overshadow the instructor. Let him (the instructor) do his thing and when she is done, she'll have a wealth of questions for you!

All that being said, and knowing the rationale as to why she is interested, I would S T R O N G L Y recommend that once she takes the resort course and is done with the vacation, she become certified as a Basic Open Water diver. Resort courses give the students just enough information to become dangerous. Get her fully certified before the interest wears off and you'll have a long term dive buddy!

 

[victoriawtx]

in that I think it's best that you deliver her to the instructor, and then go somewhere else. She will probably feel more comfortable and relaxed, without you there.

I know I always get nervous if I think someone may be watching me, even if it's just to help out, or for support.

She needs to decide for herself if diving is for her. It's not for everyone. Some people love swimming, yet freak out at the thought of diving. You never know until you try it.

So my advice would be to give her some space. Unless, of course, she specifically requests that you hang around.

good luck.

 

[Scott M]

Thanks again for all the reply's They are greatly appreciated,

Lately she has been flip flopping on the idea. I'm not sure if this is something she really wants to do or if she just gets caught up in the discussions about diving when we are together with friends. Most of our couple friends have a diver in them.

I guess it's a wait and see thing now. Will she or wont she?

Scott

 

[diverlady]

I'd watchand speak with the instructor teaching the pool course first before making any final decisions about whether to be there or not. I've seen some very good ones and some not so good ones. Perhaps knowing that a certified diver will be watching him/her will put that instructor on the "good" side of the scale if not already there.

You could also offer to be on the pool deck with your deckchair turned so as not to watch but nearby to offer assistance/support if requested. Or.....maybe one of your buddies could be available to oversee her intro instead of you....

Diverlady

 

[Warren_L]

You might also want to check out the resort course and the instructor for her as well. Being newly certified, you're in a better position to understand what the course is all about, as some of these resort courses can be somewhat questionable.