Share any humorous moment while on a boat

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Any funny moments while being on a boat before or after a dive?
Two things come to mind:

1. We were diving off the NC coast a few years back, on the first revenue charter for a new boat, being operated by an established charter outfit. The boat had twin ladders on the stern, and we were boarding divers after the second dive, with some swells really beginning to develop. One of our group came up the starboard ladder, in doubles (130s, I think) and was midway up when the stern dipped down quite a bit (actually, the bow probably rose), bringing him and the ladder to an almost horizontal position relative to the level of the deck, after which the stern pitched up abruptly (as the wave rolled along the keel), and the diver and the ladder crashed down - at which point the welds on the attachment points for the ladder simply failed. The attachment brackets broke off, and the diver, still holding onto the ladder, dropped into the water. After a moment, he figured out what had happened, and simply let go of the ladder. The captain, who had been standing by right at the stern, waiting to help the diver up onto the deck, saw him release the ladder and said, 'Hey, we're going to need that ladder, you know!'.

The diver was uninjured, and climbed aboard using the other ladder (with appropriate good-humored threats from the captain about what would happen to him if he broke the second ladder off). The lost ladder was recovered about two years later, during a charter on the same boat, although the captain decided not to replace it or later reattach it - we still dive that boat with one ladder. But the story is still retold from time to time, with both the captain and the diver laughing about it

2. On a dive also off the NC coast maybe 8 years ago, the paying customers included a European diver who was somewhat dismissive of anyone who got seasick. During the surface interval between the two dives, he pulled out a sizeable sub sandwich and scoffed it down, after which he lit a cigar. He was, at the time, sitting on a bench on the upper deck with 3-4 other people, and was sitting right next to a diver in our group who was not, shall we say, the most tolerant individual to begin with, and who was getting visibly (to me, at least) tired of this European guy next to him a) talking about his diving prowess, b) bragging about his imperviousness to seasickness, and c) blowing cigar smoke in his face. The, without any warning whatsoever, the cigar smoker takes a big drag on his stogie, but then grunts, turns his head toward the stern, and blows his lunch, spraying everyone downwind of him, including the diver in our group who was seated right next to him. It was one of those situations where you couldn't help but laugh. The guy next to him, already annoyed with him, paused for a second but then burst out laughing - and spent the boat ride to the second site ((after a quick shower on deck)), and then the entire boat ride back to the dock, asking the guy if he was sure he wasn't prone to seasickness, how did that sandwich taste, whether the cigar was really good - all of which prompted a few additional moments of leaning over the side for the braggart - and how did he enjoy that second dive (which he missed). Payback can be so delicious.
 
About 8 years ago, I was on vacation in the Florida Keys and was doing my wreck diver specialty. The first day was two dives, one on the Duane and the other on the Bibb. The next day we were doing a double dip on the Eagle with a SI moored to the wreck.

The first dive when we showed up, there was nowhere to moor due to all the boats already there, so we dropped in up-current and drifted to the down line. A slight chop, but not bad. Had a great first dive, but as we made the ascent we notice the current had picked up, and so had the seas. We were now the only boat at the moorings.

Imagine a 45 minute surface interval while moored in 5-7 foot seas. Everyone was getting sick while changing tanks and trying not to fall over. I somehow managed to not get sick until right as I was getting my gear on. Then I made a nice chum line.

When the Captain announced that the pool was open, our entry briefing was simply: "Try to get in the water without hurting ourselves or the boat. I was the last one in, and it was hilarious watching people scurry to the stern and basically just throwing themselves off the boat. There were some definite style points earned that day. LOL

When I reached the wreck, I thought it was odd that I needed very little air to get neutral. We did the last dive with penetration, wreck reels, etc and then made our ascent back up. The safety stop looked like a flagpole with divers holding the downline with one hand and their mask with the other.

When I got to the ladder and they asked for my weight pockets, that's when I realized that I never put them back in my BCD. I managed the dive with only 6 pounds of trim weights.

That's a boat ride I'll never forget.


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Last weekend I was on a Dive boat in Port Phillip Bay,Vic. I was testing out my O'Three DrySuit, most of the people on the dive boat where in wetsuits.
Everyone commented on how cold it was, and most where shivering uncontrollably.
I turned to one of the divers beside me and said don't worry I'm a little bit wet inside the DrySuit too.

He looked up with a big smile on his face briefly, until I chuckled and said it was due to all the sweating..
 
(I've posted this before, in other threads, sorry for that, but it's still funny.)

Once while on a boat, on the ocean, heading to the dive site, a woman was tapping the buttons on her very fancy looking dive computer. I guessed that she was entering settings, etc.
She looked perplexed, evidently at something on the DC screen, then looked up at me, and asked,
"Excuse me sir, do you happen to know what our altitude is?"

I told her "I guess about four or five feet."

She still didn't get it...........
 
I did the "no fins" thing once and also did the "no regulator in mouth a couple times".
 
I did the "no fins" thing once and also did the "no regulator in mouth a couple times".

Not on a charter, but I did the same thing years ago. Walked maybe 200' from the car to the shore and got into about 3 feet of water, then realizing that my only way of diving that way was to walk on the bottom. Another time, I went back to shore with my brother to help him with his equipment problem. Forgot the fins on shore and realized I wasn't going as fast as he when we headed out again. Those were the days....
 
The story is told of my wife before I met her, that she went on a deep-sea fishing trip without seasickness meds. Spent the whole day upchucking. At one point she was leaning over the rail, some guy walks by and goes "Hey, nice ass". My wife, ever the polite one, turns her head and wipes her mouth with her hand only long enough to mutter "Thank you" then continues upchucking.
 
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