Sexual Assault: Discussion

[SueMermaid]

I will make this one comment. The discussion of the incident in terms of: "I do not see how this could physically happen..." is reminiscent of the old: "A man can't rape a woman unless she is willing..." line of foolishness.

Any discussion along those lines is out of bounds. Period. I hope I make myself perfectly clear.

Excellent post, BJD.

 

[scubamate]

When demonstrating, since the chest strap area is somewhat controversial, it might be better always to demonstrate with a male training assistant.

While demonstrating, I agree. But when I have students performing skills at any depth I hold on to either the chest strap (if available), the shoulder strap or the buckle at the stomach. I will not chance a student shooting for the surface and getting injured so i stay one step ahead and hold on.

 

[Aaron Neely]

You know,.now that I think about it. There are 2 full threads discussing this topic that have spun from a Post about someones personal assault. Post in them are from people who "investigated this assault" Why not give the details? maybe we will all see this differently if we know what really happened instead of what might have happened

 

[mrobinson]

(Chickdiver) LOL! that's a pretty funny extreme!
Guess I'm luckier there. But even in the pool, slipping a weight into someone's bc can be too much personal space volation. I think your idea of chat is well valued.

 

[Ishie]

Yeesh,
Though I do know there are "fake rape" cases, often done for financial gain, they are few and far between. I also do see it as a "women are too dumb to make the distinction" point. A little story.

When I was 14 years old, thus possessing far fewer adult mental and judgment faculties than the woman posting, I was trying to get on a skilift that the operator had overloaded. Instead of having the lift neatly hit the back of my thighs and sitting down, I got hit in the butt by a middle-aged man's knee, and I pitched forward. Instinctually he grabbed for me, thinking I was going to get nailed in the head... now this man ended up grabbing me by the breast and shoulder and half pulling me onto his lap until I yelled "LET GO!!" (not because he was 'assaulting' me, but because it was obvious he wasn't going to get me all the way up, and the lift was getting higher, promising a farther drop when he did lose his grip).

Now even to my fourteen year old mind, this incident was VERY CLEARLY an accident caused by a well meaning attempt to prevent me from injury due to some carelessness on the part of the operator. I could have said the bad man touched me in a bad place, but why?

The fake cases tend to be the fake cases, and usually the faker doesn't come on internet websites to announce her trauma because she is busy negotiating legal fees, plus, again, why? If you are suffering no trauma and have no reason to warn others, why advertise? Women who do this tend to have suspicious records of suit and accusation activities and posting on a website merely advertises this trend for the next time.

Women are by and large, intelligent enough to distinguish between unwanted sexual advances and pure accidents, and there is generally an entire mood to the encounter.

Additionally, details of this poster's encounter seem to lend support to her story, though was certainly under no obligation to share any details. It is one thing to warn or discuss generally; it is quite another to discuss graphic details with strangers. The fact that the instructor's lack of a wetsuit on the dive in question (as compared to the others) was a significant detail, for instance, leads me to think there was a little bit more going on here.

There is 'requesting both sides of the story' and there are other sentiments that, while claiming a desire for both sides, seem more to imply that the woman is likely hysterical and the poor man is the victim unless she can detail out the story in significant enough detail to satisfy the onlookers. That seems wrong. Think of it this way; if you had video footage documenting this incident, and upon viewing it, you realized she was absolutely 100% in the right, and a very real emotional trauma as well as a definitive sexual assault was committed, would anyone feel a smidge guilty about the tone of their posts?

 

[H2Andy]

I am totally clueless how this would happen, beyound unwarranted and improper touching

this is a good sign. it means that, like most guys, you are a decent person who
can't imagine how to violate a woman under water.

then there are those who have thought about it, planned it, and carried it out,
not once, but probably several times, and who know just what to do to pull it
off.

in this case, we will never know the truth, but the story sounds very cogent to
me. i know the signs, and they're there. that's all i can say. i can't, of course,
prove it.

 

[michaelp68]

Shark Byte, I recall reading in some earlier posts, perhaps in the other thread related to this topic, that the name of the perpetrator of the assault was kept off of SB by the mods until there was verification of the incident being reported to the police and PADI and until the name was publicly released elsewhere. So, I don't see how SB did anything wrong in that regard.

Michael

 

[mrobinson]

I cant believe this all started from a post I made questioning the validity of an "assault" I was merely stating that unfortunatly some people interpret things differently. what is "sexual assault" to one woman may not be to the next.

I think this is why it is a good thing to discuss it. You know, even a husband to a wife can be classified a sexual assault if it's unwanted... (I don't want to imply all husbands/boyfriends are rapists..)
One other thing that bothered me was the listing of stats. I want to comment that all stats are biased depending on the topic of discussion and who's funding the study. Whether or not you choose to believe it, most rape goes unreported and any police agency will confirm that.

 

[pilot fish]

this is a good sign. it means, like most guys, you are a decent person who
can't imagine how to violate a woman under water.

then there are those who have thought about it, planned it, and carried it out,
not once, but probably several times, and who know just what to do to pull it
off.

in this case, we will never know the truth, but the story sounds very cogent to
me. i know the signs, and they're there. that's all i can say. i can't, of course,
prove it.

Thank you Andy. I dive with woman all the time, some have been the best buddies I have ever had, and to me uw a woman is just an air source and a buddy. I don't even think in terms of male/female uw. Now, on the boat I might think, she looks great but uw, I hope you're near if I need air, and I hope I can help you if you need air.

 

[Aaron Neely]

In todays society if you look at someone the wrong way people freak out. Unfortunatly there is no real definition of "sexual assault" its all an interpretation thing. Its unfortunate but true. My original post was giving the "suspect" the benefit of the doubt. Apparently I was wrong because it had been looked into and it was true. Peoples lives become wrecked because everyone is so sensative these days.