nebrunner
This can be dealt with but it will take a little bit of work. First of all you seem to be fond of nasal breathing and second you are hypersensitive to getting water where it usually isn't. This will take a little conditioning and then you need to break down those aversions by desensitizing yourself in small steps. I'm no doctor but it's highly unlikely that this is a medical or insurmountable matter.
Take that snorkel gear back to the pool and go do some laps, like :30 every other day. Better yet you and your wife can head to the ocean, lake or pond and have some nice long excursions just snorkeling along. This will train you to be an oral breather.
The whole scoop is here.
Once you are getting comfortable with this you want to get comfortable with breathing with your mask off. Clean your bathtub well and run a nice warm comfortable bath of clean water. Get your mask and snorkel and get in there, on your belly, knees at the drain and begin to challenge yourself.
Let a little water into the mask and rise to drain it. In small steps add more and more. Try to stay down for a little more breathing with each challenge but don't over stress yourself. Eventually you want to flood your mask, lift it to your forehead and stay under while breathing from the snorkel. When you are ready you can begin to clear the mask as you were shown in the pool. You can begin to open your eyes a little at a time but that's not usually a requirement, but while you're at it go for the full monty. After a session or two I bet you will be gazing into the water, breathing from your snorkel and counting your fingers.
Once you are good with this stay in the tub and let the water cool (or slowly add cold water) to approximate the cooler conditions of a training pool and then the subsequent open water.
Trust me, I know many who had the same stumbling block including yours truly.The hubub of a group class is not the place to work this out. Challenge yourself in a comfortable nonthreatening environment and do so in small steps. You will become desensitized and the door to the world of scuba diving will swing open for you. Trust me when I say, that this is worth the effort, especially since you (like me) are fortunate enough to have your wife join you in the adventure.
Pete