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This is probably the worst question to ask here but I've asked all of my friends and I just needs some more feedback.

I'm 15 years old and I have a boyfriend which is pushing the line with my parents. He wants to know if he can kiss me now but I'm not sure that would go to well with my parents. I want to kiss him but I am the kinda girl that would feel guilty if I got a A- in one of my classes. I'm actually not supposed to date until I'm 16 but I haven't actually gone on a date with him nor do I plan to until I'm 16, he's just my boyfriend.


So... if you have any advice, it doesn't even have to be good, please, please tell me.
 
scuba_chick55:
This is probably the worst question to ask here but I've asked all of my friends and I just needs some more feedback.

I'm 15 years old and I have a boyfriend which is pushing the line with my parents. He wants to know if he can kiss me now but I'm not sure that would go to well with my parents. I want to kiss him but I am the kinda girl that would feel guilty if I got a A- in one of my classes. I'm actually not supposed to date until I'm 16 but I haven't actually gone on a date with him nor do I plan to until I'm 16, he's just my boyfriend.


So... if you have any advice, it doesn't even have to be good, please, please tell me.

Hmmm - sounds like you have a lot of conflicting feelings. Do your parents know you have a boyfriend? If so, do they like him at all? Your feeling like you want to kiss him is normal; but are you ready for the implications of doing that, i.e. your parents find out and get angry, you feel guilty whether they find out or not, you want to do more than just kiss.

My suggestion is to bring this up with your Mum, or whichever parent you feel most comfortable with. Suggest renegotiating the dating rules. They want to protect you, naturally. If you are a responsible person, perhaps they would be comfortable with your dating. From the sounds of things, the no-dating rule is not protecting you from the sort of "trouble" it was meant to protect you from.

I am beating around the bush somewhat here. I really feel the most important thing is to open up the lines of communication with at least one of your parents. You need their wisdom, support, and love to help you deal with what is going on in your life. You don't need judgement or punishment or restrictions. You need to talk to experienced people so you can make responsible decisions about relationships. If your parents are really unapproachable, find a guidance counsellor, clergyperson or someone else older whom you can trust and would have your best interests in mind to help you with this.
 
Take your time. There's no need to rush into things. BTW, your parents really do have your best interests at heart. Listen to them, they do know what it's like to be 15.
 
scubachick
You want to kiss, don't want to kiss. You feel the expectations of your parents who want the best for you. They also don't want you to make a decision you may not be mature enough to understand the consequences of, yet. Been there, done that.

When you say this boy is your boyfriend, do you mean "boy friend" or "boyfriend" ?

If you are feeling pressure, is it from him or from yourself?

A kiss can be just a kiss or it can lead to more later. Can you say "no" to more and will he accept "no" ?

Would you feel comfortable talking about this with your mother? If not Mom, another adult female in your life you trust? A teacher?

These are some questions you can ask yourself and only you know the answer. I remember the feelings well.
You will probably hear this more than once, but you are young yet and have so much ahead of you - don't rush things and possibly regret something in the future.
 
Hun, I have been there! I am like you... an A- gets me all worked up... so I know where your coming from.

I think that there are a couple things you need to keep in mind. If your parents said 16.. they meant it. You don't want to break their trust before you even START dating.. because then there not going to be so willing to trust you the next time. If this is something that you really want to do, sit down and talk to them. They will tell you how they feel, you tell them how you feel, and maybe you can work something out. If not, then you know that they were absolutley serious, and you did a good thing by NOT going behind their backs and doing something that they didn't know about.

The other things is.... Is this guy pressuring you into something? It sounds like he may not respect you or your parents decisions, and that may or may not be something that you want to get involved in. (Now, this is just my opinion looking in from the outside.) If in fact hes willing to wait, and its something that you both are looking forward to, tell your parents that! They will have a lot of respect for him because hes not pressuring you, and might be more willing to bend the rules.


If you need to chat more, I'm always here for ya! PM me, or send me an e-mail k_maskell03@hotmail.com (messenger too). I hope it all works out for ya... but don't ever be afraid to say "Forget it! I'm going diving!!!!!"


Good luck!
Kayla :dazzler1:
 
I have a little girl of my own so I had to think about this.

Ya know. If this was a diving question like.... " My boyfriend wants me to dive to 100' and I am not comfortable with it." --- Well, you know the answer that you would get. For what you are talking about there isn't really a difference. Don't do anything that you are not comfortable doing.

By the way, Kissing can be fun when it is the right time and the right person. From what you are saying - it seems like it is neither the right time or the right person. When it feels right, it probably is.

If you need to, find someone to talk to that you trust. Older sister or cousin, mom (works well always), teacher, pastor, whomever.

Stay true to yourself. Always.

"To thine own self be true"
Polinus in "Hamlet"

"There are no great truths in life that Shakespere hasn't already written about"
Ontario Diver said this about 15 years ago......
 
Ok wait...Rach I know your mormon. Arent you allowed to kiss when your 16? To break free of your parents wrath you must breach out on your own a little bit. I mean kissing is great, but it is really up to you. Dont worry about guilt and you cant plan physical attraction things before they happen. let it be and see what happens!
 
well this one is hard. Being from a less conservative part of the globe, I can't that kiss or not kiss could be an issue for a teen. Sure, when I was a teen, my parents gave me rules, and I broke many of them. My mom dosen't know all the stories, and it's ok like that. I wasn't a bad girl, but sometime I felt that my parents rules were wrong.
But I see that you are from another place and I think that your religion is important for you. You will be a teenager once in your lifetime, and when your in love, it's so great, and when love hurts, it's so bad. And I remember these moments, these feelings, how it disturbed me, and how all these experiences made the woman I am today.
And also, in my experience, guys that put pressure on you are bad ones. stay away from them. A boy that really loves you and really care for you will respect you. And when he will get the kiss, he will want something else. This, is another issue.
Finally my advice is respect yourself. don't do something just to make a boy happy, make it because you feel it, you really want it.
 
K first of all I have to say thanks to all of you for your advice, you are the best. I talked to him about it and he says he doesn't want to pressure me into anything I don't want to do or that I wouldn't feel comfortable with. I think he's a great guy, he obviously respects women (not just from what he said but he really does and if you knew him you could tell from the way he acts), and if he's willing to wait till I'm 16 then I think that he's worth my time. I've talked to some people that he and I both trust and they all say that I should wait too. So, here goes and I have witnesses, "I'm not going to kiss or date until I'm 16 years old." Whew, that was tough, lol.

Again, thanks for all the advice. BTW I might be PMing some of you for some more advice or updates not that anyone really cares enough to do anything but give advice but I will anyway because I feel like it.
 

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