What camera & housing did you use?
What software did you use to compress this video with? The pans are very jerky/studder, gave me a headache.
I would try not to use the zoom as much. Push or swim your camera towards/away from the subject whenever possible vs. zooming.
Its okay to edit. Watching one long take, including the diver's knee passing in the frame and the clip from you BC floating in provides no entertainment value. Hold a subject in frame longer an slow down the number and speed of your pans.
Watch the length. If you are archiving your trip for future memories a 45min video might be great, but if you want your friends and family to willing sit through it, a shorter cut focusing on entertaining or beauty might be something to think about. I watched up to the 10min. mark.
Keep practicing and learning, especially on editing.