After much thought and considering all advice I've arrived at a much revised set of rules for my diving. I expect that I will continue to revise them as I continue to dive and I experience other situations or ideas.
I don't expect them to apply to anyone else but me, nor to be adopted by anyone else but me. They are specific to me, my personal rules, and what I feel safe with. I'm only posting because I asked and people responded, and this is the result. I am in no way pushing these in any way.
My Personal SCUBA Rules
You are always diving solo no matter how many divers are in the water, or how many buddies you have, or what certifications they have, or how much experience they have, or what you discussed during the dive plan, or how well they are equipped.
If you make a non-trivial mistake gearing up or on a dive - abort. If you aren’t focused enough to gear up perfectly. or aren’t focused enough to avoid non-trivial mistakes during the dive, you aren’t focused enough to dive solo. Two mistakes in one day means you are way off and need a time out – no more dives that day.
Never enter the water if you can’t comfortably do a long surface swim in full gear on snorkel. This is an easy way to decide if the conditions are too harsh not an intention to do that.
Always take a compass bearing from the entry point (boat or shore) to the reef* and know the distance to the reef. Failing to do so is a non-trivial mistake.
Always check for current as soon as you hit depth. Make a current check at each third of your air. Failing to do so is a non-trivial mistake.
If the conditions are different or worse than what you expected (surge, current, topography etc.) or if there is any uncertainty immediately abort.
On a boat:
If the dive briefing does not cover emergency diver recall and diver in distress protocols, ASK. Should they not describe acceptable procedures don’t dive. NOTE: Prior to booking this should be asked of the dive op. On the boat, this is a check to make sure the crew is competent in emergency situations and aware of procedures.
If the dive briefing does not cover distance to reef, direction to reef, size and shape of reef, depth of reef, special features of reef and all conditions including visibility, surge, and current, ASK. If they are unable to answer you should consider not diving, depending on observable conditions. If you dive be ready to abort.
* Reef = a specific objective or area in salt or fresh water, not just a coral reef.