Question for the married folks out there...

[AlexMDiver]

Good points here.
I think however, that married life can be more complicated concerning making and keeping appointments with friends than a single's life. So when a friend asks me to go for a beer then my decision involves not just my friend, and myself, but also my wife and family. Often I am not able to immediately say yes or no. A stereotype answer is "I will check with the boss about this". This is in my view though how it should be.
In general I prefer spending time with my wife and family over spending time with anyone else, but that does not mean that I do not ever go out for beers anymore.
If I do make an appointment, I should check with my wife and family because that is fair to our family life.
I have had to cancel because something came up family-wise. Being married means that your personal appointments diary is being filled by two people at the same time during the day or week and that there will be overlaps, unless you want to call your spouse for every thing on the cell phone.

I think your friend owes you a couple of beers next time and an apology, and you should speak with him that you should not be treated like this, but juggling a marriage, family and friends can be more tricky than having friends without the marriage and family. So if you show understanding then this should be cleared up easily.
I strongly believe however, that marriages where each partner voluntarily spends more than one or two nights each week out with independent friends, is not a great marriage, or rather one that I would not like to be in. Marriage in my view is not about seeing your partner one night a week in the gym, but spending your lives together.
That should not mean that each partner can't spend some time with friends too.

 

[CBulla]

Hmm.. nope.. I don't have that issue. I clear it with my wife before I even commit. Communication is a MUST in a relationship, without it the most interesting things can occur, including losing touch with your wife/SO/friend, etc..

When I get stood up or plans changed last minute with someone.. most times I'll give them the benefit of the doubt one or two times.. 3rd time I just say 'Hey, my time is valuable to, so be honest if these aren't going to fly of if there is doubt about it. I'll make alternative plans.' Yes, my wife has even heard that from me.

 

[seadoggirl]

"I could get married and make one persons life miserable or stay single and make lots of people happy" don't remember who said it but it's funny!

 

[NadMat]

...
It seems that solution in this case was to 'talk to the boss' myself

As this morning was first she had heard about it, for whatever reason, possibly because of his very long hours at work and the fact that with her newly expecting they had other more important things to discuss in the time they had when he did get home from work, I knew she was not the issue. But, when found out about it from my call this morning, she did communicate with him, scheduled their errands, and invited me over for burgers and beers while I instruct him in his backups. She is a real sweetheart, he needs to learn to communicate better with both her and me. But some issues still abound with others, and I thank those who helped to provide some insight into possible causes of and solutions to these issues. Will keep an eye on this thread for continued insights.

 

[tkdawg]

I clear it with my wife before I even commit. Communication is a MUST in a relationship, without it the most interesting things can occur, including losing touch with your wife/SO/friend, etc..

Right on the nose, bullseys, ringer, and nail on the head.

It is not better to ask for forgiveness, so I check to see what is going on with the kids and wife.