Sorry you've had such a miserable time on Phuket, skydiver. It seems things have snowballed for you, unfortunately. I've had somewhat similar snowballing experiences at couple of times, the worst of them on a trip to London when I was living in Geneva, and as I had previously actually lived in London, I really didn't expect to have such a thoroughly bad holiday that time, but it did happen. I do think having the right expectations ahead of time and knowing what to watch out for help people have an enjoyable visit, no matter where they go, whether it's Phuket or London or Sydney or wherever.
I've never been to a place or lived in a place that wasn't a mixed bag. It comes down to selecting options that help you avoid the stuff you don't enjoy and focus on the stuff you do enjoy. For example, I detest Patong, myself, and rarely go there unless I have to meet a customer--certainly never without an excellent reason, and always reluctantly. I've helped people who have hauled up in Patong change their locations once they decided the place wasn't for them, and I've moved people out of the quieter parts of the island to the throbbing pulse of Patong when that was what they were after. I don't much like Kata or Karon, either, but that's me. Everybody's got different objectives, and there are options for each one. There's actually much more available here than the two extremes you mention for areas with lodgings, but maybe you were looking at a particular price point that doesn't lend itself to places outside those extremes.
I've not had the misfortune of fraudulent credit card charges to my account in the decade I've visited and lived on Phuket (though this has happened to me in Australia). I dealt with a scam attempt in Boston recently, but like you I am very vigilant, and was able to avoid the scam.
I have a driver I call to take me to the airport for not much more than the rate you paid to transfer to your hotel from the airport, and I call this driver to assist my own customers when they ask, so it seems that your airport transfer experience is a case of just asking the guesthouse reception to get your ride sorted out for you, and they have no particular interest in getting a reasonable rate for you since they probably get a commission on the sale and the driver might be a personal friend (whereas you're not).
I agree entirely with the comment about traffic and urban planning; it's frustrating, but when I came here to live, I adopted as my mantra 'I live on an island. I live on an island. I live on an island,' so that I didn't take on traffic-related stress. Now I just go with the flow, focus on my idyllic destination, and put the traffic out of my mind. Just like coping with the boredom of swimming laps for fitness, I let my mind relax.
The diving costs twice as much as in the gulf? What gulf? You list your location as Florida, so would that be the Gulf of Mexico? I doubt our dive rates are double the cost of a charter in the Gulf of Mexico. However, if you mean the Arabian Gulf, well, the overhead that dive operators deal with here is not the same as there. Just the cost of fuel makes a tremendous impact, and our dive sites are not very close by. You can't fairly compare locations like that without taking into account all sorts of factors.
Skydiver, I'm saddened that you're having such an awful time. No place can be all things to all people, and a lot of enjoyment comes from having the correct expectations, so I'm guessing that you had unrealistic expectations to start with. As far as I can tell, the only questions you asked here about your planned visit had to do with weather and conditions at dive sites. You didn't ask about where on the island to stay, how much diving costs, how to organise transfers, what pitfalls to watch out for. Nevertheless, maybe your thread here can help people coming to Phuket ask the right questions and set realistic expectations so that they don't meet with the disappointment you're experiencing.
