Non-diving spouses

[Big Toes]

Hey all:

I'm sure that this question has probably been asked before but had a hard time searching for it. How do y'all handle a spouse/girlfriend that can't and won't dive?

I've had a couple of girlfriends that have been more than happy to go where I take them, only to hang out and enjoy the scenery. Maybe do a little snorkeling... We've done some 'non-diving' stuff and that has had a tendency to make them happy; all in all great trips.

However, now dating somebody that refuses to go to these locations (we're not talking cold water/scary places; each one of these has been warm sunny and sandy) and instead wants to go look at churches in europe: eek! (apparently, not enough for her to do at these warm/sunny places). I've tried to work this out, apparently to no avail. And there's no way in hell i'm flying to eastern europe on 12/24.

So yes, I've tried to work compromises with her, the results weren't good. When I travel it's usually for a triathlon or diving. And, like most of the u/w junkies on this list, I can't give up the annual nitrogen overload pilgrimage to points unknown.

So I guess my question here (several) might be: how do you work this? Do I need to kidnap her and wake her up with a margarita? Get a different girlfriend? Give up my dive trips? (it's only once per year). Decide that I need to sacrifice my annual pilgrimage in an effort to save my relationship?

I'd really love to hear what you guys (and gals) have to say on this subject. Horror stories, especially! Maybe we could get a poll going here...

Thanks in advance for your help; I look forward to your replies.

Erik

 

[Hockeynut]

Hey all:

I'm sure that this question has probably been asked before but had a hard time searching for it. How do y'all handle a spouse/girlfriend that can't and won't dive?

I've had a couple of girlfriends that have been more than happy to go where I take them, only to hang out and enjoy the scenery. Maybe do a little snorkeling... We've done some 'non-diving' stuff and that has had a tendency to make them happy; all in all great trips.

However, now dating somebody that refuses to go to these locations (we're not talking cold water/scary places; each one of these has been warm sunny and sandy) and instead wants to go look at churches in europe: eek! (apparently, not enough for her to do at these warm/sunny places). I've tried to work this out, apparently to no avail. And there's no way in hell i'm flying to eastern europe on 12/24.

So yes, I've tried to work compromises with her, the results weren't good. When I travel it's usually for a triathlon or diving. And, like most of the u/w junkies on this list, I can't give up the annual nitrogen overload pilgrimage to points unknown.

So I guess my question here (several) might be: how do you work this? Do I need to kidnap her and wake her up with a margarita? Get a different girlfriend? Give up my dive trips? (it's only once per year). Decide that I need to sacrifice my annual pilgrimage in an effort to save my relationship?

I'd really love to hear what you guys (and gals) have to say on this subject. Horror stories, especially! Maybe we could get a poll going here...

Thanks in advance for your help; I look forward to your replies.

Erik

Run like the wind.

 

[Gombessa]

Meh, it's gotta be about compromise. One trip to EE, get some culture, ya cretin. Then get her to agree to one trip to the tropics, and do your best to find someplace and something where she can do more than just wait for you in a lawn chair.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you (I hardly think this is a rare situation), and my personal thought is - I get to dive locally as much as I want, that's 70-80 dives a year. For that, I'd gladly give up 5-10 dives during vacation time.

 

[Big Toes]

funny! and no, i have no problems traveling around the EE and have done it extensively. this is just one instance, but she wants us to go to prague flying out 12/24 and coming back 1/1 and THAT i have big problems with. (by the way, very cool pic).

 

[almitywife]

........However, now dating somebody that refuses to go to these locations (we're not talking cold water/scary places; each one of these has been warm sunny and sandy) and instead wants to go look at churches in europe: eek! (apparently, not enough for her to do at these warm/sunny places). I've tried to work this out, apparently to no avail. And there's no way in hell i'm flying to eastern europe on 12/24.........

no good can come from it if there is zero compromise so if diving is really important to you and unless you can agree to seperate holidays i say put a fork in it now and end the relationship

tough words i know but my PC mode is turned off today

goodluck

 

[Hockeynut]

f. (by the way, very cool pic).

Thanks, and, Run like the wind.

 

[Gombessa]

funny! and no, i have no problems traveling around the EE and have done it extensively. this is just one instance, but she wants us to go to prague flying out 12/24 and coming back 1/1 and THAT i have big problems with. (by the way, very cool pic).

Prague is *awesome* but I getcha, especially if you were planning an epic trip to Cozumel for the winter season.

Again, if nobody is willing to compromise on the point, it's gonna be tough. What would your plans have been? Can you agree to cut EE short a few days so you have some dive time?

 

[C Chris]

see below

 

[princessaprilia]

Tag yourselves on to another friend/relatives's trip.

"Oh, your sister is going to Cozumel for a week to bake her leathery skin some more? Why don't we go with her? You two need to spend more time together."

Or plan a group trip from the ground up. Invite the friend of hers that you hate. They'll have fun while you can go dive. Invite lots of her friends and she won't even know how often you disappear. You look like a hero for putting it all together.

Don't invite Hockeynut.

 

[jupitermermaid]

What are your priorities? Is this woman worth giving up what you enjoy to make her happy enough that you won't resent her later in the relationship? That may be a "yes" to you. For me......never!!! At this point in my life, if a man isn't interested in diving there is no way I can be interested in him....period. But that is MY stance. Everyone is different. Only you know what is worthwhile to you and what you are willing to give up in exchange for what you think (hope) you will get in return for your sacrifice. Good luck!