Non-diving husband

[Michelle28]

Hi there,

I finally got my husband to get certified and he enjoys it, but he definitely doesn't love it and would never want to go on a diving vacation. While I am DYING to spend some time on a live-aboard! I was wondering if anyone else is in a similar boat (pun intended). We don't have an extravagant amount of vacation time (or cash), so I'm reluctant to spend a vacation apart. But I really would love to do some more serious diving. I live in Manhattan so it's not so convenient to just jump on a dive for a few hours. Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks,

Michelle

 

[miked]

Hi Michelle,

While my situation is not exactly the same as yours, there are some similarities. As a diver from NJ, who prefers warm water diving, I am not really inclined to hit the local waters. Also, I do have a SO who does not dive. (She did one dive in 1983, and that was enough).
Our compromise: we try to get away to places that have good diving, yet have enough to do "topside" to keep her busy.{Cozumel, Grand Cayman. Aruba, Bermuda}(We have been together for over 20 years, and are both pretty independent.)
The daily routine consists of me getting up, doing an "a.m. 2-tank", followed by a "p.m.2 tank" . Followed by dinner together and early evening entertainment. This way, I have a"diving vacation" she has a "topside vacation", and we share a good time together.

While the diving may lack the intensity and numbers possible on a liveaboard, I can still do 4 per day, and she can "do her thing".
Perhaps something along these lines would work for you . Also, it's possible that your husband may decide to accompany you on some of the dives, which might increase his love of the activity, and maybe....a liveaboard in your future??


Hope it all works out.
Good Luck,
Mike

 

[kelpmermaid]

Actually, there are a lot of places to go with things to do beyond diving. The Ft. Lauderdale area would work well --- you could go off on a boat in the morning, and catch up with him for lunch.

 

[Al Mialkovsky]

Im lucky that my wife loves to dive but I don't love to ride horses. So my wife does what all married women do when they want their husband to willingly participate in something they like.

Withhold sex.

 

[seaangel]

I have a non-diving husband also. We do vacations that allow me to dive on one or two of the days, the other time we spend doing things together. He does like to snorkle so we do that at times.

Because I am so avid a diver he is VERY, VERY understanding and does not mind that I take dive trips with other divers. I do have to keep them within reason, as they can be expensive. I usually do a 4-day liveaboard, and a week long liveaboard with my dive shop friends. I recently did wreckmania, while he went to a friends for the weekend that shares his interest in hunting.

We compromise he hunts, and I dive. It works for us.

 

[Dr. Jay]

I'm in a similar situation to yours.....roles reversed, of course .

I just got back from a trip to Looe Key (shallow reef dives) and for the first time, my girlfriend loved diving. She had only freshwater springs experience up until then.

Everything was going great, until she had trouble with her sinuses and pain after diving. I'm willing to bet some of it was her failing to equalize properly, but her doctor did tell her that diving should be taken lightly. He did give her a perscription (Pan Mist or something) for the sinuses, but she never took it to heart because she never really liked diving before.

It was so nice hearing from her when I went on my advanced dives that she really wanted to get in the water, but felt bad because she was sick.

I will definately try again with her, maybe a deeper reef or something, before we spend a large amount of money on heading to a place like Bonaire.

Has your husband ever been diving on a nice reef? Maybe there's something underwater that will spark his interest. Perhaps a dive with large critters? Or just lots of fishies? Or maybe a wreck?

Keep trying. I'm sure you'll find something you both enjoy underwater.

Good luck!

 

[coliseum]

My Wife took her OW course when we were engaged so she can share with me the passion of Diving...

She doesn't!!! She is totally phobic from weird creatures
... especially SHARKS!??!?

I have just become an instructor and I am now trying to get her to go for Advanced so that she can gain more experience and maybe better enjoy some of the dive sites...
and hopefully she will start to like diving!

 

[Michelle28]

Wow, so many replies! I can't believe how many people read these boards, I'm so happy that I found them.

The suggestions are all good, -- except for withholding sex. Come one, I'm suffering enough without diving more, now I have to skip the sex? Just kidding! I just wish my husband would make it easier on me and love diving!

Anyway, I look forward to talking to more of you on the boards!

Michelle

 

[MsParamedic]

I was really in a turmoil with how to handle the "lack" of passion my sigficant other has for diving--but I was able to come up with a solution that "sort of" keeps in the mix of things. We both took our OW cert together, so he knows about the "necesities vs luxuries" of diving. He helps with logging times, holding tanks (while we/I adjust my BC), makes sure fresh fruit and cold drinks are available when we finish our dive, and will even help gather up equipment off the shoreline. During the dives, he will sit back, relax and maybe even BBQ for us.... To let him know how much we appreciated what he does, our group of divers bought him a shirt that says "Shore Support" across the back.

 

[jepuskar]

Another reversal.....my girlfriend is not a diver, and even if she was a diver she has made it clear that a liveaboard is not gonna happen. However, my brain as told me that a liveaboard IS in my future...just cant pass that up.. NO WAY!

Ofcourse she is not going to go either..that would be torture for the poor girl. Man, thinking about this...how am I gonna explain to her that I'm leaving for X amount of days without her to go diving..all while using up my precious vacation days.

oops,