Well, I went with some of the advice and ignored some of the advice (went jacket BCD instead of going to BP/W, personal choice... didn't go through local dive shop as their prices were MUCH higher and would need one heck of a discount to end up anywhere near what I was looking at elsewhere)...
I decided against the "pre-packaged" deals and sought out better deals individually (definitely good advice on avoiding those I found out). I don't plan on doing more than 3-4 dive trips per year (and that's probably going to be more like 1-2 most years for a bit) so I figured it would probably take me about 10 years just to rent a reasonable number of different gear to compare. As such, I decided to rely more on reviews etc that I could find for gear, instead of waiting until I'd tried a bunch. Maybe I'll decide that I want to replace something quickly, maybe I'll be diving with this gear for the next 30 years. Only time will tell.
I also didn't feel like going BP/W. My old BCD was back inflate and I think my preference is still towards an old-fashioned jacket. If I change my mind, I can swap my new BCD for my old one most likely (seeing as the old one was sold to my brother at a nice discount and I don't think he has a preference). I also wanted something that would travel well since I anticipate most of my diving will be in the Caribbean region or similar (maybe some Florida sites). I ended up finding a pretty good deal on a new Cressi Travelight, right at $300 shipped new.
For regs, I wanted something that was consistently rated highly in reviews, but wasn't going to cost me an arm and a leg. So I searched for deals on regs that hit most of the "best reg" lists for the past 3-4 years. I ended up getting the Cressi MC9/Compact Pro set, with the compact pro octo, for right at $300 as well. As mentioned earlier I think, I previously ordered the Giotto computer so without planning to my gear has a lot of Cressi products lol.
At that point, I still needed an SPG and went looking for something around the $100 range and preferably "slim" (I didn't care for the bulkiness of my old SPG set). I found a used Aeris XR1 console (pressure gauge with temp and XR1 nx computer combined) for $136 shipped (used, but looks practically brand new). For the price, I couldn't turn down a slim console with a second computer. Without even planning to, I've gotten to the point of having a backup computer it seems.
So, the BCD, 1st/2nd stages/octo, pressure gauge and Aeris XR1 NX computer combination cost me around $740. Seems to be a much better value than the packages I'd been looking at. The Giotto ($229) on top of thatstill kept me under the planned $1k at $969 with only the XR1 console as a used item (I wanted new for regs at least as the local dive shop costs for rebuilds/inspections are quite high imo.. I plan on learning to service the regs myself after seeing the cost to work on my old ones).
Some things were missing (and not included in the stuff I was considering in OP) though. I didn't have a compass, so I felt I should get one of those (going to need it for AOW after all), so another $50 there. I figured safety was also important so I picked up the DAN deluxe surface signal kit recommended in a couple threads here and a finger reel to use with it for another $80 and $20 respectfully. Then I needed a wetsuit too, I've ordered two and will see which fits better. All in, I'm expecting to be right at $1.2k with mostly new stuff.
In all honesty, for most people who plan on diving like me (relatively infrequently), I'd probably just recommend using rental gear (it'll take probably a decade of diving before the cost of buying this stuff will eclipse what I would have paid for rental gear). I wanted my own stuff without spending a fortune, but without going "completely cheap", and can afford it so I'm happy with my choices for now.
Next up - getting some dives on this gear and getting AOW course done... maybe even a nitrox cert in the near future just in case I want to have it moving forward
Whether I followed your advice or not, I appreciate everyone taking the time to give me their opinions. Thanks all