aussie_shark_bait
Contributor
Glad you are all enjoy the jokes i have picked up along the way, sorry if anybody was offended by the joke that had to nuked off the board, not my intention of course, but my apologies all the same. SOme people just don't like get or share the Ozzie humour i guess, i can laugh at myself just as easily as the next girl or guy. ASB. 
New Medications For Women
St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Emptynestrogen
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait 'til they moved out.
Peptobimbo
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting
Dumerol
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q., enhancing enjoyment of bar-style country western music.
Flipitor
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
Antiboyotics
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
Buyagra
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-One-All
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with an "Eminem Does Broadway" CD or a Phyllis Diller exercise tape.
Jackasspirin
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-Talksident
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Ragamet
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Damitol
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
New Medications For Women
St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Emptynestrogen
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait 'til they moved out.
Peptobimbo
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting
Dumerol
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q., enhancing enjoyment of bar-style country western music.
Flipitor
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
Antiboyotics
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
Buyagra
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-One-All
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with an "Eminem Does Broadway" CD or a Phyllis Diller exercise tape.
Jackasspirin
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-Talksident
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Ragamet
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Damitol
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
