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H2Andy

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apropo of another thread, am posting here not to hijack
that thread.

in the movie Animal Crackers, Groucho dictates a letter.

Here's the scene:

Spaulding (Groucho): Take this letter, Jameson... In care of Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, and McCormack...Gentleman, question mark, Now then, in re yours of the fifteenth, yours to hand and made to rep, brackets, that we have gone over the ground carefully and we seem to believe, i.e., to wit, e.g., in lieu, that, uh, despite all our precautionary measures which have been involved, uh, we seem to believe that it is hardly necessary for us to proceed unless we, uh, receive an ipso facto that is not negligible at this moment, quotes, unquotes and quotes. Uh. Hoping this finds you, I beg to remain...as of June 9, cordially yours. Regards.

Now read it back, Jamison

Jamison:
'In care of Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, and McCormack...'

Spaulding: You've left out a Hungadunga! You've left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh? All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead. I tell you what you do, Jamison. I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungadunga. They won't all be there when the letter arrives, anyhow.

Jamison: 'Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga...and McCormack.'

Spaulding: '...and McCormack.'

Jamison: 'Gentlemen, question mark.'

Spaulding: 'Gentlemen, Question Mark!!' Put it on the penultimate, not on the dipthonic. You want to brush up on your Greek, Jamison. Well, get a Greek and brush up on him!

Jamison: 'In re yours of the fifteenth.'

Spaulding: I see.

Jamison: Now, uh, you said a lot of things here that I didn't think were important, so I just omitted them.
(Spaulding swings at his head and misses.) Whoa, Captain! Good gracious! Oh, my!

Spaulding: So...you just omitted them, eh? ...You just omitted the body of the letter, that's all. You've just left out the body of the letter, that's all! Yours not to reason why, Jamison! You've left out the body of the letter!...All right, send it that way and tell them the body'll follow.

Jamison: Do you want the body in brackets?

Spaulding: No, it will never get there in brackets. Put it in a box. Put it in a box and mark it 'fragilly'.

Jamison: Mark it what?

Spaulding: Mark it 'fragilly.' F - R - A - G...Look it up, Jamison. It's in the dictionary. Look under 'fragile'. Look under the table if you don't find it there.

Jamison: 'Quotes, unquotes, and quotes.'

Spaulding: That's three quotes?

Jamison:
Yes, sir.

Spaulding: Add another quote and make it a gallon. How much is it a gallon, Jamison?

Jamison: 'Regards.'

Spaulding:
'Regards.' That's a fine letter, Jamison. That's an epic. That's dandy. Now I want you to make two carbon copies of that letter and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just send the stamp, airmail. That's all. You may go, Jamison. I may go too.
 
You have WAAAAAAAY too much time on your hands Andy.
 

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