Stephen Ash:Sometimes I wonder if those that recommend a BP/wing for a child have actually tried putting their kids in a wing. I would suggest that if you are really considering this, then you better run it by her first.
Finding a BC that she will like doesn't have to be difficult. Take her up to your LDS and let her try some on.
Sometimes I wonder if those that recommend any gear for a child actually even have children who dive, have ever dove with a child, or posses any unique qualifications at all to recommend gear for a child
You make an excellent point, however. Ultimately, the kid will be the one diving with the equipment. Make sure that they are involved in the decision making process.