Lending out gear

[airsipper]

How would you feel? A fellow diver and long time friend wanted to borrow some of my vintage gear to take pictures. I knew how he cared for his stuff, so I felt safe in lending him mine.

Since lending him the gear he's moved around a bit and I finally caught up with him asking him to return my gear. He started sputtering around and said he'll have to look for it.

Yesterday he returned it, some of it. Instead of my tank, he only returned the tank valve saying that he wanted to refill the tank - but it didn't pass hydro so he tossed it. :11: There are a couple of other pieces missing that I think he was hoping I would forget I loaned to him. Right then I was in too much shock for words at the moment - but the more I think about it, the more upset I get.

 

[trucker girl]

People suck. I'm having a situation right now with some friends of ours that just blows my mind away. That's why anyone who is a real friend won't ask these things of you. IMO. Won't impose on you like this. I have a couple of very close friends who I trust implicitly. But we don't put eachother in these situations.

I usually think of it in terms of money. If you lend someone money, you're better off to simply give it to them. That way there aren't wierd feelings. You may never be friends with them again, but, in this type of situation, I don't expect to get it back. It's less painfull that way!

Doesn't help any. It's just the way people are. I'm not like that, though, so if you want to lend me some gear I'll get you my mailing address

 

[Garrobo]

Now that I have some new Oceanic regs I might be tempted to loan out my old Dacor stuff.

 

[trucker girl]

This type of thing is a character issue. If the guy lost some of your stuff, he should fess up and say he lost it and then replace it (unless it's not replaceable). And some people will say that the friendship should be more important than posessions. But this behavior says something about the kind of person your "friend" is deep inside.

I'm really upset for you. My husband especially is always trying to help people out and then they never appreciate it. Gratitude and humility are so lacking in people. We've found that the more you try to help people out, the less they appreciate it and the more entitled they feel. It just really hurts to find out that someone you really like and care about doesn't care enough about you to do right by you.

My apologies if I'm overstepping my bounds and making assumptions. I'm very upset about my current situation with our friends and it's probably carrying over.

We didn't loan anything out though.

Oh, and scuba gear is sacred. I mean, come on! Money is money, but GEAR is GEAR!

 

[Meng_Tze]

You can borrow anything from me.

You break it or loose it, you buy it

 

[CrateCookie]

Many of the folks I dive with have the philosophy of "only lend stuff that you are willing to not get back." Unfortunately, there are some people with goofy ethics and some people who just don't take care of other people's toys. Mix that with the abyss and you're asking for your loaner to become a gift. I only lend out stuff that I find--my good stuff stays with me.

 

[liuk3]

I think that you need to have a conversation with your "friend". Then, if he deosn't make amends or return your items, you need to open up a giant can of whoop***** and put the hurt on him.

 

[Twiddles]

Never lend out gear.... ever. Its more than an issue of you getting the stuff back, its an issue of things that can happen to your gear that you are unaware of. Frankly if the guy had to be chased down to get your gear back, I would be more than a little suspicious of anything I got back from him. If people want gear most any shop that does fills, rents gear and its not that expensive to rent. If its a situation away from a shop like on a boat, I might lend something like fins or a mask, but never a bc or octo or reg or anything that poor care could result in a life threating situation for me.

 

[gary-ramey]

Very simply put, I don't lend anything I'm not willing to part with. Even my boat which I've loaned to a dear friend a few times, is something that I take the high road with. If I loan it, I'm taking responsibility for its failure, repair, or replacement. Life is too short to allow physical things to shred an otherwise great relationship. In any case, your hurt, or pain, is based on your friend not caring enough about you to return the items you loaned him. I encourage you to take the high road. Maybe over a beer he'll disclose some of his reasons to you.

 

[DiveMaven]

Next time someone wants to take pictures of your vintage stuff, tell them to stop by with their camera.

I have to think that anyone who would borrow stuff then try to weasel out of returning it (or a monetary equivalent for damaged or lost gear) was never a friend to begin with. Real friends don't treat eachother like this. You should go after your stuff or the value of your stuff at the very least.

If it's too much of a hassle to you or a worthless endeavor, write it off, realize that the guy isn't any friend of yours, learn from the experience, and move on.