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I know a couple operations where the DM is responsible for waking you up in the morning when the coffee is ready.
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I did almost all of my first 30 dives or so in Cozumel. The DMs took my gear from me and set it as the boats traveled to the dive site. They told us what the dive plan would be, and we followed them through the water until they brought us to the surface. Then they broke down our gear for us. Then I did a dive in South Florida. As we headed for the dive site, I kept wondering why the DM was not setting up my gear for me. He was, in fact, ignoring me completely. It eventually dawned on me that I was on my own, and I scrambled to set up my gear (let's see--how does this go again?) before we got in the water. That was a rude awakening about the differences in DM roles in different locations.
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I have about the same experience level as the OP and am a vacation diver with no regular buddy. I think when you are inexperienced and diving with an instabuddy, you have different needs and expectations of a DM than if you are experienced in independent diving with a regular buddy.
The other issue is you don't want to hang around mid-water too long with bull sharks swimming nearby so I really can't blame the DM for his reaction. He needs to be sure that everyone on the charter can descend relatively quickly without ear issues and can handle a decent amount of current and still stay together. I think I might have disclosed that to the shop at the time I booked the dive ;-)