I work with some real butt heads ;^)

[Gary D.]

I perty much work graveyard and our team Sgt. knows about when I sleep and when I get up and start getting ready for work. So what did the Butthead do today? Hit my flippin pager just to say hi.

I fly out of bed and cram a tooth brush into my mouth and read the text, "Morning, training is still on for 8-1/2 0800 marine building". Flippin Butthead is sitting home chuckling and sucking on a long neck.

Pay backs!!!!!

At 2300 last night I responded to a single vehicle rollover around Hauser Lake. The road is just as bad as Fernan but it is more local traffic so we don't have as many problems.

It was an 85 Subaru on it's side only 12 feet from going into the drink. Mom who blew a .23, 4 hours after the accident lost a big chunk of her elbow.

Her baby, a cute little boy, born on 080604 was just fine. She admitted to doing over 50 mph when she went around the corner. Speed limit around the lake is 20 and 25 which is sometimes way to fast.

Charged with Excessive DUI, Injury to a Child and Driving while Suspended.

Here is the lake. She crashed on a right corner about mid way on the right side.
http://terraserver.microsoft.com/image.aspx?t=1&s=13&x=311&y=3306&z=11&w=1

Gary D.

 

[Wildcard]

Ya ever come real close to slaping the crap out of em? I have, come close that is.

A partenr of mine kept trying to one up me on station pranks. I put about 3 inches of water in his turnout boots then froze them over night. I put them back in his truck as he was leaving for his fire job. 20 years later, I still hear about how long to took to thaw then dry them.

 

[medic_diver45]

THAT'S HILARIOUS.....We put a can of tuna fish with holes poked in it inside one of our probies turnout coat pockets. He didn't find if for several days.....

 

[Wildcard]

A new EMT was spending way too much time around when she didn't need to be. One day she show up at the station to visit. Shortly there after, I got a call. Jumped in the seat and on the way Im thinking, Damn, this thing is lumpy....I start moving around trying to get the lump in my seat adjusted. About that time I felt the moisture. She knew enough to know that the IV tubing trick didn't work so she had taken a 500cc bad of D5w, drained part of it out, taped a piece of suction tube to it, and toped it off with corn syrup. So about this time, I notice my whole back side was wet......Finished the call just about the time it started to dry. Ever had dry syrup on your hairy butt? It's not as nice as it sounds....I paid her back big time! I let her live with me for a couple of years! That will teach her!!!!

 

[medic_diver45]

THINGS THAT AIRMAN RICHEY LEARNED IN THE US AIR FORCE
A *PARTIAL* LIST OF THE STUFF I GOT AWAY WITH WHILE I WAS IN THE SERVICE

Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

ICU vs. Respiratory Therapy squirt gun wars are not an appropriate way to pass the time on days when there are no patients.

Not allowed to title any official e-mail reply 'Get Over it' or 'Get Bent'.

Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on ‘Government time’.

Never again allowed to ask the vice president if the hospital is now "an Undisclosed Location."

Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.

Not allowed to chew gum in formation at Commanders Call, “unless I brought enough for everybody” (that’s what the first sergeant told me).

(Next week) Not allowed to chew gum at formation at Commanders Call even if I DID bring enough for everybody.

I am a cardiopulmonary tech/respiratory tech, NOT 'Dr. Feelgood'. I will immediately stop billing myself as such.

Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's more carnal desires in recruitment posters. Not even if we did enjoy great success with this tactic on the fire department back home.

The expression, "It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission", no longer applies to Airman Richey.

Not allowed to attend Wing Halloween party dressed as a tampon (THIS WAS NOT ME! THIS WAS DONE BY MY SUPERVISOR.)

Anything which the thought of makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

Tom Clancy’s “Ghost Recon” is not a military training aid. Therefore it should not be played during duty hours.

The acronym RACE stands for rescue, alert, contain, extinguish not “resistance, annoyance, contempt, evasion”. I should not tell JCAHO inspectors this alternate definition.

The chief of cardiology (Colonel Zen) is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did. ("Dr. Zen, what was it like treating wounded at Gettysburg?" He thought it was funny)

Radioactive material should not be stored in the dorms.

Neither should other hazardous materials.

Even if i DID display the appropriate hazmat placards. (I had so much alcohol in my room (I opened a "bar and grill") that I violated the OSHA standard (according to the base FD) and if I were to keep it I would have to placard my room.....which I did)

I should not teach other airmen to say offensive and crude things in German, French, Latin or Arabic, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases. "Remember: yes means yes, no means no, and, "nagyobb erovel evez" means pull harder in Hungarian."

If I have been told that I can not bring alcohol along on a field training exercise with the Army, it does NOT mean that it is appropriate nor acceptable to buy the alcohol at the Class Six at the training site when we arrive.

I do not need to keep a copy of the Air Force Dress and Appearance regulations (AFI 36-2903) in my locker with the exemptions highlighted.

I do not need to use the aforementioned regs to disprove something my first sergeant tells me.

Putting red 'Mike and Ike's'® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all while in a formation is not funny.

The same goes for putting Altoids in a Percocet bottle and eating them five or six at a time all day long.

I am not the functional manager/A1CIC for 'wall-to-wall counseling', "hazing", "debauchery", "womanizing", nor "Drunk and disorderly conduct" or anything else for that matter. I will remove the sign from my office, uh, I mean the RT supply room door immediately.


It is not my responsibility to explain priapism to Army First Sergeants. That is a task best left to the professional experts (such as A1C Durand).

If I can't get the recognition (I think) I deserve from the Air Force...there is always the Army.

My Article 15 is NOT "suitable for framing". (That's the worst punishment I got while in, for being late to work once in two years of all things! So I framed it and put it on prominent display just to see my commander's reaction.)

Remember: It's not whether you win or lose, it whether you avoid Leavenworth.