"I refuse to dive with him!"

[MXGratefulDiver]

Actually, just a typical response to your attitude.

I don't think it's right to get down on someone for being honest about who they prefer to dive with ... a variance of opinions makes for good discussion.

When I discuss buddy skills in my classes, I always tell my students that if diving with someone makes you uncomfortable ... FOR ANY REASON ... then you should not dive with that person.

That's not to make a judgment call as to whether or not that person is right or wrong, but rather that when you go underwater with someone you are entrusting that person with your safety. If doing so with that person makes you uncomfortable, then you should not do it.

Someone who's uncomfortable ... FOR ANY REASON ... diving with a new diver, should not do so. That doesn't make him wrong ... in his case, it's the right decision. Not everyone's cut out to be a mentor. I applaud those who are honest enough with themselves (and us) to say so ... even if I choose otherwise.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Rick Murchison]

As a "noob", I hope I can live up to the expectations.

First and foremost, recreational diving's objective is to safely have FUN. With that in mind, there are basically only two expectations I have of an "instabuddy." I brief both before the dive along with other essentials like max depth, general nav plan, who's leading when, turn depth/time/place/pressure, lost buddy procedure and AAS ascent procedures. (If my instabuddy wants to brief those things that's fine too - the important thing is that we know 'em before we jump in.)
(1) Tell me if you're uncomfortable, worried, cold, scared, tired or just ready to end the dive. I absolutely live by the rule that "any diver can call any dive at any time for any reason without repercussion." I will never chide you for ending a dive. I will, however, be upset if you don't end a dive you ought to end because you're trying to "live up to expectations" or out of a feeling of embarrassment. Does this mean that sometimes a dive gets cut shorter than I'd like it to? Yes... but so what? Every dive gets cut shorter than I'd like it too, even when it's me who calls it
(2) Have a desire and a determination to have fun and get "wowed" on every dive.
I will do the same for you, and we'll see fantastic wonderful amazing terrific critters and plants and artifacts and stuff; we'll come out of the water with great big grins and wondrous things to share
And I don't think you or I would have any problems living up to those, eh?
Rick

 

[tjmills]

Well said Rick. Well Said.

 

[Rick Murchison]

when you go underwater with someone you are entrusting that person with your safety

Never!
I understand where you're coming from - this is a "point of view" point, but it is essential -
I and only I am responsible for my safety. I may include a buddy and his equipment in my list of assets, but when it comes to my safety, I and only I am responsible for using him and his equipment to help me. That doesn't mean he's an inanimate object, or that he is expected to be inactive in helping me should I need it, but it does mean that I take responsibility for making sure he's where I can use him and has the basic skills required to do so.
How does this apply to instabuddies? As far as my safety is concerned, I'm solo. As far as his safety is concerned, I'm his buddy. If I need to use him or his equipment then I will be in charge of taking care of myself and him too while I do it.
If I have some incapacitating event (stroke, heart attack, serious injury) then if he saves me it's a bonus, but it's a risk I've chosen to accept.
Rick

 

[ReefGuy]

Notice that I didn't get "down" on someone for being honest, I was addressing (and even quoted) his response to someone's response to him, ie "Typical noob response". Frankly, I don't care what his diving policies are, or who he will or won't dive with.

I don't think it's right to get down on someone for being honest about who they prefer to dive with ... a variance of opinions makes for good discussion.

 

[Rick Murchison]

Someone who's uncomfortable ... FOR ANY REASON ... diving with a new diver, should not do so. That doesn't make him wrong ... in his case, it's the right decision.

I agree 110%.
And here's another fine point. It is me whose status is determining whether I will dve with someone. It is not whether they are "xyz" or "abc" but rather my inability to achieve an acceptable comfort level with them... my shortcoming, not theirs.

Rick

 

[Diver0001]

I understand your question well. Here is the way a typical boat dive goes. You are visiting an area, anywhere USA or some exotic locale. You go to the dive shop and ask about diving and they tell you it is great and they have a boat going out in the morning. You sign up and give a deposit. Sure enough, next morning a boat is at the dock as promised and is rapidly filling with divers, most are excited and talking and chattering, a few are quiet and reserved sipping some coffee, others are knocking stuff over, fins and masks are everywhere, the National Geographic wannabee photo guy is hogging all the deck space with his camera gear and complaining people are stepping on it so I help him out and step on it some more. Then you got the guys with the big spear guns and the captain is arguing with them about no spearing allowed. Somehow you get your gear on the boat and yourself and the lines are cast off and veroooooooom, away you go. You are alone, you look around, soon the captain ask for buddy teams, you ask to dive solo and they freakout and quote the stupid PadI Bible to you and claim gravity will cease if they allow solo diving and they team you or you team with some guy you have never seen. It is a two tank dive and two different locations. there is current and once anchored you must descend and go down the anchor line. You don't get to say "Hold Everyhting" into your Dick Tracy watch and go dive a quarry with your new buddy. Amongst all the chatter and chaos and drum of the diesels and the camera guy fussing with the spear guys and the lady changing cloths in the front of the boat and the guy changing his cloths in the back of the boat and you figure they are an excellent match and the three divers vomiting off the side you figure you are on a ride to Hell.

So what do you do, do you not dive? Do you dive and if the buddy is a dweeb do you dump him and take the wrath of the captian when you return or do you just decide to babysit the dweeb or do you luck out and get a good buddy or what--it is pretty much wild card. What if you ask to dive with the "squared away guy" and he and his "squared away" buddy say no because they only dive with a "squared away" "team". This is the real world of tourist diving. There is no get to know, there is only go or no. N

ROTFLMAO!!! Now *this* is a classic. Hilarious and so recognisable. There probably isn't a diver here who hasn't been on that very boat. I know I have.

I usually do one of a few things when faced with the 'intabuddy' phenomenon.

First one is to look around for the most competent buddy pair and to join them. I'll tell them my experience level and make it clear to them that I want to dive with them because they look squared away. Most of the time if you approach it like this they'll say OK.

If that doesn't work and there is going to be a large group in the water anyway then I'll tell the DM I just want to dive solo and bring up the rear. I don't have any illusions about being able to do exactly what I want on a cattle boat anyway so when faced with the choice of getting a random instabuddy or acting as the group's sweeper car I'll go for sweeper car.

If I'm not on a dive holiday but I'm just diving for a day or two somewhere then I'll frequently ask the DM to be paired up with the least experienced diver. Especially if we're diving locations where I've been before. I used to try avoiding this because you get shorter bottom times but more and more I enjoy diving with rank beginners. For one thing they're not pretentious. They don't usually lie about their experience level, they don't want to prove anything to you, they don't usually have an attitude about the other divers on the boat, they usually listen well and follow dive plans and despite not looking like experts in the water they compensate with mind-blowing amounts of enthusiastic energy. Diving with newcomers can bring fun into the most boring dive and for me that's worth sacrificing some bottom time. It's also a sport in itself to get beginners to slow down and look at stuff but once you do the look in their eyes is priceless. This is something new I've discovered over the last few years and it is *so* much better than the crap shoot you get when you dive with the intermediate divers....

R..

 

[Diver0001]

Wow....I just read the rest of this thread. There sure is a lot of frustration out there about people's buddy skills.....

.....but who *are* these buddies.....? It's us.

You know....I think we need to stop writing about the other guy and bring this home..... We need to write about what *we* can do to be better buddies.....

I'll start.

I would be a better buddy if .....

I would be a better buddy if I made more frequent eye contact and reflected a little more on how my buddy is doing.

Who's next?

R..

 

[TSandM]

I will be a better buddy when I get better at avoiding perceptual narrowing when task-loaded (eg. when I can figure out a heading without forgetting to check on my buddy for a minute at a time )

 

[El Orans]

I'll be a better buddy when I remind myself that wetnotes and patience work better than telepathy...