How to get back into Diving

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Red, I think that the "part of the solution" remark was about increasing her skills and comfort in the water and hence working as a partner to fix the issues.

My silly question: Have you thought about a prescription mask? Trying to keep contact functioning UW seems like a potential nightmare to me.
 
SnakeRiverPirate:
Red, I think that the "part of the solution" remark was about increasing her skills and comfort in the water and hence working as a partner to fix the issues.
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I think her husband has the WRONG attitude about buddies. My ex was a horrible buddy with his face always stuck in his camera, totally unaware of the rest of the divers in the group. When we took Extended Range, the instructor told him as much to his face. Part of being a buddy is being supportive and not diving beyond your buddy's skills.

I'm not sure if that kind of issue is "fixable."
 
Red,

I concur. Her hubby's buddy skills are lacking. A 30 minute gap of knowing where your buddy is is unacceptable. I am just saying that she could work to improve her comfort level in the water. That might alleviate a little bit of the problem. She will also need to communicate what she needs from him as a buddy.

I think that dive budding requires a level of honest communication about comfort, fears and vulnerability that we seldom approach in our topside lives. If he doesn't come around she needs to buddy with someone who can support her needs.

It seems like hubby has a golden chance as the more experienced diver to do some positive mentoring.
 
SnakeRiverPirate:
It seems like hubby has a golden chance as the more experienced diver to do some positive mentoring.
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How can he do positive mentoring when he has the WRONG attitude about buddies? Just because you are married to another diver doesn't mean that you should dive with him. That is my point.

A mentor should be an exemplary diver. AOW means almost nothing. Her buddy dived in a cavern without proper training and equipment. :shakehead:
 
SnakeRiverPirate:
Red, I think that the "part of the solution" remark was about increasing her skills and comfort in the water and hence working as a partner to fix the issues.

My silly question: Have you thought about a prescription mask? Trying to keep contact functioning UW seems like a potential nightmare to me.
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Basic skills don't seem to be the issue here- I know divers with far more dives that the OP who would have trouble recovering a kicked off mask while keeping their eyes closed to avoid losing their contacts.

No, I'm going to agree with most everyone else who has posted here. The central issue is diving with someone who places the dive above the safety & integrity of the team. That the other two divers were apparently oblivious to her situation & then took so long to realize that she was gone & turn the dive to look for her is the real issue.

savannahbell, you're in a tough situation here. You've received some excellent advice about talking to your husband privately. I know of another couple who recognized & worked out a potential buddy style difference when it was pointed out by an instructor. Although probably not so extreme, the instructor pointed out to the husband that he really needed to match his style more closely to his wife because he was a bit oblivious to her at times. They have since worked it out & are a GREAT buddy team. If that does not work for you, I agree that you might be better off seeking out other dive buddies that are more aware of their buddies & dive within your skill set & experience. Do it easy posted a link to a thread in the Conchs where a few people have expressed that willingness. While more good training is only going to help you, all the training in the world will not solve your particular problem- a buddy who is apparently not much of a buddy.

I don't think that anyone has suggested this but y'all might consider taking a rescue class together. The skills & awareness taught in a good rescue class would probably help y'all to become a better team.
 
Well it must be my day for not writing clearly.

I am in no way saying the the OPs skills are deficient. I was suggesting that she get more comfortable with her diving as part of 2 people working towards a mutual goal. I meant this in the context of she and her husband communicating and working to build a buddy team that meets their mutual needs. Expecting them to be effective buddies because they are married is a foolish expectation.

My remark about his opportunity to mentor was a sad comment about how he is blowing this opportunity.

My remark about contacts was not to dis her, it was a honest question. I have had horrible experiences with contacts. I would think that a prescription mask would be and easier system to use in an underwater environment.
 
SnakeRiverPirate:
I am in no way saying the the OPs skills are deficient. I was suggesting that she get more comfortable with her diving as part of 2 people working towards a mutual goal. I meant this in the context of she and her husband communicating and working to build a buddy team that meets their mutual needs.
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How does a buddy team meet mutual needs? There is only one right way to be a good buddy and it is clearly defined. You either do it or you don't.

If he wants to make dives beyond her skill set, she needs another buddy. For him to justify being a bad buddy by blaming her skills is a candyass cop out (sorry Marvel!). One of the qualities in measuring the true skill of a diver is awareness of the team.

Although I've never taken DIR-F, I admire their team diving. It is almost symphonic in its orchestration. I would suggest that the OP take fundies and then she wouldn't have to worry about her skills and it would soon become apparent how lacking her buddy is in real skills.

SnakeRiverPirate, I'm not missing your point of her buddy blowing the chance to be a mentor. I am making the point that he lacks skills himself. Maybe we have a different idea of what constitutes skills. Being able to wander into a cavern takes no skills and no brains. Being constantly aware of your buddy and their position, dive time, gas, etc, etc, takes a lot of skill.
 
Being able to wander into a cavern takes no skills and no brains. Being constantly aware of your buddy and their position, dive time, gas, etc, etc, takes a lot of skill.
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Amen, GF! :D
 
I would reccomend just diving with someone you feel comfortable with. Check the Regional Travel and Dive Clubs forum here on Scubaboard and see if you can't find a buddy that way. I would have no problem snagging a buddy from Scubaboard. Just let them know what happened and what your prefrences are before you dive. I think it's a great way to get back into diving and to meet some new friends...

Hell, if I had some money, I'd fly down to FL and go diving with you.
 
I did not mean to imply she did anything wrong at all. Sorry that it came across that way.

What I did mean was that her skill level might be a part of whatever issue her husband might be having with staying with her. While it's true that the problem for her here was his behavior, her taking some responsibility to improve her skills might help in moving this to resolution. It a bargaining technique to show good faith.
 
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