How many DIR divers does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Mako Mark]

245...

2 to come up with an intial plan;
2 to go out and buy a new light bulb;
3 to test and analyse it;
2 to go and exchange it for the right one;
10 to bash them for not having a redundant one in the first place;
20 to argue the Hogarthian light bulb configuration;
30 to come up with a new configuration, including the routing of the 7ft wire;
20 to point out the errors;
10 to decide what type of chair to stand on;
20 to tell then they should be able to reach it unaided;
5 to write a book about it;
2 to die trying it;
1 to stand on the chair;
1 to stand on another, smaller chair next to them;
20 to act as a support group to hold the chair and catch the old light bulb;
1 to meet the diver on the way down from the chair;
10 to do a debriefing;
20 to tell them what they should have done;
10 to write a revised book about it;
3 to get their picture in Scuba World magazine;
1 to take the picture;
2 to write the article;
50 to write in and complain about it.

 

[ShakaZulu]

Nice, I like it...............

 

[TwoTanks]

Isn't there supposed to be a team to rotate the chair?

 

[Paul Evans]

Hey have you seen this

http://www.scubatoys.com/store/joelarry/dir.asp

 

[ShakaZulu]

Hey have you seen this

http://www.scubatoys.com/store/joelarry/dir.asp

OMG, this is hilarious.........

"So you penetrate the night club and you've got a good mix, now it's time to meet the ladies. I should have said this earlier but watch your drink consumption. It's a well known fact that women look 25% - 30% better in a night club and if you get all narc'd up on vodka tonic, it increases your chances of a coyote ugly blackout. You have to keep your wits about you.

If it's early, you probably have pretty good viz. Later in the evening when the smoke silts up the room it'll be harder to make out the women on the other side of the club so get your headings early. On a few occasions I've had to bust out the wreck reel just to get to the bathroom and back.

If you are lucky enough to hook up with a nice hottie, this is when doing it right really can pay off. Now, let's face it, there's a certain degree of danger involved here that I don't want to downplay. You need to minimize your risks by using the proper equipment. I carry 2 condoms. One I put on . . . well you know, and the second I put on a bungee that goes around my waist. If there's a malfunction on my primary, I can quickly go to my backup without hardly skipping a beat."

 

[dlndavid]

Hey have you seen this

http://www.scubatoys.com/store/joelarry/dir.asp

Being new to diving I'm just starting to become aware of this thing called DIR.
I loved the article. And the webcam at the link is pretty cool too. I took control and went for a spin.

 

[downunderjenn]

outside of this board, DIR is a little known entity.

I found this posting particularly amusing. We wouldn't make fun of them as much if they just didn't insist they were the ONLY way to dive correctly and the ONLY group of good divers and the ONLY ones who know how to dive properly.

 

[HammerNoMore]

outside of this board, DIR is a little known entity.

I knew about DIR long before I knew about SB.

I found this posting particularly amusing. We wouldn't make fun of them as much if they just didn't insist they were the ONLY way to dive correctly and the ONLY group of good divers and the ONLY ones who know how to dive properly.

They don't as a general rule. Only a few of the zealots do this, just like there are zealots that think a jacket is the only way to dive.

James

 

[eponym]

Mares, thanks for that link. It's a hoot.

And can DIR weddings be far behind? Did you miss this hilarious wedding dress auction?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4146756343

(read all the way down - it gets funnier as it goes!)

-Bryan

 

[crpntr133]

WOOOOO, wedding and DIR?????? No way, I don't think there is a right way to do a wedding. Stay single and have no kids and dive, dive, dive..