water entering through the exhaust valve may be your fault. If there is no air in the suit and you press the valve, water is coming in.
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3. Some wrists do not work well with cone shaped latex seals. But that is where neoprene seals, longer latex seals and dry gloves can come into play to eliminate the problem - just get the right seal that works for you.
I agree with previous post, a dry suit should be dry. However one of the best ways to know what you want is to try before you buy. Though you are not likely to rent a custom fitted dry suit, you can tell many things by renting. It sounds like you are doing the right things to eliminate an expensive purchase mistake in the future. I would only add that you also question and compare manufactures and their support, return and repair policies before you buy. So, go deeper than the published warranty info.
Bat.