How do other parents handle this?

[kittyjg]

I'm not sure if this is the spot to post or if would be better off some where else.
Situation: My son and I both got certified last year. He was 13 at the time. I went on for advanced. I want to take the rescue class, but I also want more diving experience before I do so.
My problem, I feel unsure with myself to dive with him alone. I realize I will be essentially diving solo and watching out for him. Maybe it is the "mother" or "newbie" in me (take your pick), but I am afraid something will happen and I will be unable to sufficiently handle the situation.
As a result of my quandaries, my son and I have been unable to dive much. I do not have a dive buddy nearby. She got transferred out of town/state. The financial aspects of diving with him are also to be considered. I haven't bought him much dive gear as he is still growing. He started out the class at about 5"8" and he is now 6"3" and still growing. So we have to rent his gear. You know what that involves - time and $. Locally, the diving consists of (see Midwest Muck Divers) - 2' vis if you are lucky.
The youth group I am involved with recently went through OW cert. They are all 15 yrs and older. I had my son go through the class with the other cadets as a refresher, even though he is certified. He had relatively no problem with that and understood completely why I had him do it.

Am I expecting too much? Should I go ahead and take the rescue class anyway? I wanted more than 40 dives before I took the class. Since it is getting colder, should I not even worry about it until next year? He is only now 14.

In hindsight, maybe I should have gone with my dream and gotten certified years ago. Then when he was old enough to cert, I would have had more experience and been more comfortable. Too late for that now.

 

[wedivebc]

Thanks for the post, although I don't know if it's just womens views you are looking for. My son started diving when he was 12. We just came back from a dive today, he is 17. Although he is a very competent diver with 50+ dives logged I find myself watching him like a hawk.
I would suggest, if you are comfortable with it, find a nice easy shore dive to do if possible to get comfortable. If there is a quarry or lake nearby go in and splash around at 20-30 feet. PLan your dive like in your training and make your son assist with the plan. Have him lead the dive but make him swim slowly stopping frequently to allow you to check on him.
Yes get the rescue class and you will be greatly rewarded if you nurture your son's diving ability. Just remember to progress only as fast as your comfort level.
Enjoy.

 

[alcina]

First, excellent that you are both diving, even if you have limited time/cash for it right now.

Now I think you have serveral questions:
1) Do your rescue course. It will make you a more confident diver. It isn't meant to make you a super hero or responsible for others. It is a great course (when taught well) and you will be much more confident in yourself. Do it now...then next season you will be that much more experienced - remember you are already thinking you should have started earlier so don't put it off now you've started!

2) If you aren't completely confident in your buddying abilities then you need to find another diver you are confident with so you can find your feet. Someone you trust and someone you can talk to about what you are looking for - more confidence, some practice sessions dealing with how to help your buddy, etc. If you have an area where you feel pretty secure that if something does happen it can be contained (maybe a shallow, no current, known dive site) then head out there with your son for practice. You could also try some pool diving with him and set up a course of scenarios or talk about a dive plan involving some "common" problems like losing a mask underwater and needing your buddy to take you to the surface.

How about that group you were talking about? Can you guys head out with them? Then you would have the support of other parents who are divers and you wouldn't be a buddy on your own?

3) Money. Sorry can't help with this one! You might check out the local school/university to see if they have second hand kits for sale or kits for hire...might be less expensive than your LDS. Talk to your LDS, they might have a "locals" plan that will let you hire the gear multiple times for cheaper. Put a notice up, there may be another mom or person out there with the same problem and you might be able to share a single set of gear. Get Son out in the workforce...let him earn a little money to spend on diving. Or get him to do extra jobs around the house that you would normally have to do and that cut into your dive time together. Money sucks, for sure!

I don't know...I sure don't have the answers for you. But I do have two teenage boys...one is a Rescue Diver and one isn't certified yet, but has done a few dives with me. The more you can get them diving, the better.

 

[garyfotodiver]

I think you are doing great! Dive when you can, where you can. Experience is a great teacher.

I also faced a similar dilemma after my daughter certified last year. On our first dive post-certification together, I realized the responsibility for both of us was all mine. So this summer I took the SSI Stress/Rescue course here in the midwest. During my first training dive in the Racine Quarry, I could not see my fingers when I extended my arm.

Right now I am planning a long diving weekend with her in Florida during Thanksgiving weekend. Next summer I hope to get her interested in Lake Michigan diving. My instructor said he will plan an easy wreck dive for us.

Good luck!

 

[Doc Intrepid]

Go ahead and get rescue certified. Chances are likely he wants some time to hang with his friends.

One suggestion. Find a dive club somewhere near you. Check with the dive shops. Most of us who have been doing this for awhile have, uh, tons of gear we, uh, don't use all the time in a drawer or hanging around. Don't tell anyone. (It might come in handy someday.) Anyway, not only will the club have scheduled dives but there are also generally always club members doing this or that, and you and your son would be welcome to tag along with them. Chances are real likely that you might be able to borrow some gear here and there to make it more affordable.

One day soon your son will be out on his own, and this time will be over. I think you are wise for trying to do things with him while you can, that you both enjoy. He'll remember.

Doc

 

[billinwilliamston]

Hi,

Our two daughters (12 & 14) are both certified (one in November of last year and the other in August of this year) and I can 100% relate to your dilemma. I feel absolutely responsible for both myself and whichever of the girls I'm buddied up with on a particular dive.

One thing we found is that if you can do a few dives together in fairly quick succession (like 4 or 5 within a week) they start to "get it". That doesn't mean that a 12 or 14 year old can any more be left to fend for themselves getting ready for a dive or under the water than if they were behind the wheel of a car, but as their confidence level grows so will yours.

Have you run into the issue that since your son is tall for his age, divers who don't know him expect more from him then they would if he was more average sized? Both of our girls look much older than they are (the 12 year old is 5'8) and they tend to get treated like they were 18 or 20 rather than 12 and 14. Of course, once they start spatting like a couple of two year olds, that goes away.

One thing we did that worked out well for us was we found a reputable shop that had some used equipment and was willing to stand behind it (got 1 year of free service and repairs). That way we were able to pick up equipment that amortized over a very few rentals. If they grow out of the BC's, we can just about break even selling them.

Have fun with your son.

Bill

 

[deba]

I had these concerns when my son and I started diving together. Now he is too busy with his university work to go with me. I suggest you take advantage of every dive oportunity you have with your son while you can.

As for the nervous mom thing...I found that going on all the check-out dives with our shop, where there were plenty of instrustors and master divers we know in the water, helped keep mom calm until I became more comfortable with his skills and mine.

Have fun...they grow up much too fast.

 

[lostinspace]

6'3"?
how tall are you both? how tall is the grandfather that your son most takes after?
I ask because my grandfather was 6'8", other was 5'3". My father is 5'6", my mother 5'4" (from the 6'8" dad). I am 5'6". My sister 5'9". My brother 5'10".
Unless you are both significantly taller than your son still I would say he is almost done growing (I'm guessing his voice/balls/etc have dropped?!)
Kit buying should soon be simple.

 

[SCUBAMedicBill]

I started diving over 20 years ago and my son got certified 1 1/2 years ago at 16. He was a natural, and follows in my safety first philosophy. Your problem, just as with the rest of us parents are that we are parents. We worry about our kids, no matter how safe and capable they are. It takes a lot of energy on our side to suppress those over protective urges, and let life go on. Get you and your son involved in a dive club. You'll meet experienced people you can dive with, as well as being able to possibly get some cheaper diving in, maybe even borrow gear. This will also allow you to become more at ease in the water so that you will feel more confident when it's just you and your son. And by all means, if you can take the rescue diver course, take it. Don't put it off if you can do it now.


Bill

 

[kittyjg]

Tall runs in the family. I'm 6', husband is 6'3", my brother is 6'4", my father is 6'1". There are a few more in line of my uncles and grandfather. I am hoping he is almost done growing upward.
As for the big shot of testosterone for the "dropping", no, it hasn't happened yet. Maybe by next summer. He doesn't even shave that much yet, just the upper lip every other week or so.
I'm glad to see I am not alone in this. Thanks for all the posts.

I will look into some of the LDS used/rental gear. Sometimes they sell rental gear and it comes with a 1yr warranty.