how did i do?

[23angler]

Well this weekend was my first OW dives and as luck will have it i was a buddy with a women. On the boat she was not afraid to ask for help and i gave it to here as far as the EQ set up goes. In the water every thing was good (we know we are both married and respect that in the dives). But at the end of the 1st dive we had to take off our BCD and assets the buddy to but it back on. With a big smile on my face i thought ok she did great in the pool with this skill by her self this should be a breeze. So she removed her BCD with it inflated to about 3/4 and then sat on it and slipped rite in. now i am thinking that the worst is over and she can get it from here without my help. So i continued to watch her and notice that she is having a little problem. Now i am thinking she is married and i know this and i am married and she knows this. I need to help here but i got to watch where the hands go . Being a gentleman that i am i help her will respect to certain upper body parts. After a few min. of this i see that this is not working. So out the door with the gentleman crap and the hell with what she thinks of me after this. I put her left leg in between my legs lock on and grab the waist strap of her BCD. As i push her up and into the BCD i was able to get it tight and fasten the safety strap. Then i am fumbling around for her chest strap and can not find it. So i ask her (after about a min) where the hell is it (thinking that it is wrapped up inside of the bcd) she said there is none: 11: well with that fiasco over we got back on the boat and then got ready for the next dive like nothing ever happened.

I think i: 11: handled this in a professional manner and she still had a little respect for me.

What would you guys have done in this situation, and how do you girls think i handled this? :dazzler1:

 

[Amy B]

Personally, I got used to getting a little mauled when I first started out (of course, now I'm more experienced, I can do these things on my own, phew!).

I'd rather get help if I needed it than have someone worrying too much about where they're putting their hands.

I think you did ok, maybe not necessary to lock her leg between yours, she could have put her arms out and held onto your shoulders, but if she was a bit flustered she might not ahe thought to do that.

Though why she wouldn't tell you she didn't have a chest-strap... I mean, it would have been obvious what you were looking for... Maybe she didn't mind so much where you put your hands after all?!???

 

[scubajoe]

You did ok. I tell my students right up front that their safety is my first concern. I tell them that when they are doing skills I will have slight contact with them, a stap, d-ring or buckle. But if things get ugly I will take control by whatever means are necessary, usually the BC strap. Therefore there are no surprises.

Joe

 

[nauifins73]

I agree with Amy and Joe - if I need some help I don't care where the hands are - I want things taken care of and I'm helping someone I will explain afterwards why.

Becky

 

[Brian Gilpin]

Just do what you need to do regardless of sex or marital status. Safest way to go.Besides aren't you a single diver?

 

[Hoya97]

I think you did okay. Question I have though is if this was your first OW dive and her first OW dive, where was the instructor? I always accompany my students on their first OW dives. If you're the least bit uncomfortable, call the instructor over, that's what he's there for.
When I'm in a similar situation, I say 'excuse me'. But, like SCUBAJOE, I tell my students, especially the female ones, that there may be times when I have to touch areas. If they are uncomfortable with the concept, they are to tell me and we'll work out a compromise. So far, I haven't had to work out a compromise.
In short, "don't worry about it - you did okay"

 

[Bretagne]

Yesterday, I had a problem with my wet suit zip, it was blocked open and I had te cancel the dive (water was 15 C). People who helped me could not prevent to put hands on my law back to try to close it! I only hope that one had succeeded, even if it meant more hands there! (at least 3 different people tried after my husband failed)

 

[MsParamedic]

I think you did just fine! No need to worry, if she felt uncomfortable, Im sure she would have signaled for you to stop.

 

[DiveMistress2]

I think that this has been overthought.

You don't need to be so worried about us women - we've been bothered more above water by men than by some unintentional groping from someone trying to help us.

I do remember a certain dive buddy having a full groping session during our full equipment exchange while buddy breathing during our DM course with 2ft of visibility. The instructor and I were roaring with laughter under water and my buddy couldn't even see where his hand was.....(I bet he'll reply to this posting...LOL)

I think what's most important is safety in diving along with communication. I know that if you had leg locked me it would have made me more inclined to panic than if you had simply talked me through it and steadied me.

Either way, if it was in my best interest I wouldn't have cared where your hands had touched - it wouldn't have even crossed my mind.

 

[MikeFerrara]

As an instructor I've had to help divers of both genders often.

I am as careful as I can be and make an obvious effort to not touch anything I don't have to.

If there is a safety concern I do what I have to and worry about explaining later.

Common sense and basic mannors is usually enough but if some one wants to feel offended they'll find a reason. Those divers may need to find another sport.

On the other hand I've had DM's that I've had to streighten out or even get rid of because they couldn't keep their mouths and in some cases their hands under control.