Lauren, if I'm reading your story correctly, you did a DSD in Colombia and the instructor insisted that you should signal your air to him during the dive. For a DSD, this is a violation of standards... the instructor is responsible for monitoring participants' air directly (because it is assumed that the DSD participants have not had sufficient training to effectively communicate their remaining air supply.)
The fact that you were already a certified diver and you knew how to signal your air is beside the point. Your instructor played loose with standards and you, subconsciously or not, picked up on that. Some people are like that: very detail oriented, follow instructions to the letter and notice when any small thing isn't right. You describe being anxious, I would say you are very observant... and your alarm bells ring when something isn't right. That's very useful when scuba diving.
But that experience aside, how do you get to the point where you are a confident diver and you no longer have to worry about whether or not your anxiety will take over on any given dive? There's no substitute for experience. I would suggest making some time to dive in Florida, since it's not far from you. Diving every day for a full week, with an operation that you feel comfortable with, will likely do wonders for your skills, your confidence and keeping your anxiety in check.
If you take another "refresher" course, do NOT take a DSD (i.e. Discover Scuba)... they are two very different things. A "refresher" course is specifically designed for an instructor to identify which skills you need to "refresh"... i.e. they assume you already know everything from the basic OW course, and they will work with you to polish those skills that need it.
Finally, find the right instructor. It will make the world of difference to have an instructor take the time to listen to your concerns and then take the time to effectively address your concerns. You obviously are interested and motivated... you just need someone to show you the way and you'll be all set.
The fact that you were already a certified diver and you knew how to signal your air is beside the point. Your instructor played loose with standards and you, subconsciously or not, picked up on that. Some people are like that: very detail oriented, follow instructions to the letter and notice when any small thing isn't right. You describe being anxious, I would say you are very observant... and your alarm bells ring when something isn't right. That's very useful when scuba diving.
But that experience aside, how do you get to the point where you are a confident diver and you no longer have to worry about whether or not your anxiety will take over on any given dive? There's no substitute for experience. I would suggest making some time to dive in Florida, since it's not far from you. Diving every day for a full week, with an operation that you feel comfortable with, will likely do wonders for your skills, your confidence and keeping your anxiety in check.
If you take another "refresher" course, do NOT take a DSD (i.e. Discover Scuba)... they are two very different things. A "refresher" course is specifically designed for an instructor to identify which skills you need to "refresh"... i.e. they assume you already know everything from the basic OW course, and they will work with you to polish those skills that need it.
Finally, find the right instructor. It will make the world of difference to have an instructor take the time to listen to your concerns and then take the time to effectively address your concerns. You obviously are interested and motivated... you just need someone to show you the way and you'll be all set.