Hey Hoover ~ Did you ruin someone's dive?

[Lawman]

I would accost the hoover[ assuming he is a worse hoover than I am] and demand he give me money for my lost dive time."Swine!" I would yell. Acursed pig, dog swine! You have hoovered my hard earned dollars! I'll see you horsewhipped through the streets!
I sir, shall report you to Uncle Pug. You'll never work in this town again! Women will cross the street when they see you. Children will run and hide. The people shall flee the village when your "hoovering" is revealed. What say you to that your Royal Hooverness?

The Green Bay Packers huh? I did notice you were....large. 327 lbs?I'll bet that's why you breath so much. You're going to do what with my tank? Ouch...I bet that would hurt. You realize I was just joking. I really like Hoovers. It's a term of endearment where I come from. Swine? Well that was a slip of the tongue. Really I'd love to dive with you....buddy. Say, that's my BC. I cost quite a....oh, you've torn it in two! Well it was getting old anyway....oh, oh that was my 120 you just threw in the ocean. I've never seen anyone actually eat a fin before....

 

[Wijbrandus]

Too funny, Lawman.

And probably true. I bet most hoovers are much larger than the ones who last for hours on a tank.

I wonder, if I get the evil eye for hoovering, how far I'll get when I throw someone's reg in the water...

84 hours until I hit the water in Aruba... Anyone want me to say hi to Clive for them?

 

[Azza]

First off I hate it when everyone has to dive in a group. I think if you have paid lots of money in dive tuition and collecting your own gear you shouldn’t have to dive with the main group as by that stage you have usually gained some experience, especially as you have just paid thousands of dollars to fly here and dive. It is a little different with resort divers however. I think the DM should take all the noobies and resort divers with him, and let all the experienced guys do their own thing, within reason, other wise what is the point of continuing education. However…

This didn't happend to me... but it has happened to others.

This is for those of you (noble souls) who would never turn down a hoover as a buddy and are more than willing to sacrifice your dive.. because after all... you were a tadpole at one time yourself...ect...

Here is your scenario ~ answer honestly:

You aren't rich but through hard work and saving you've finally realized your dream and are on a dive trip to Fiji. You have no buddy along (the reason dosen't matter.) The day comes when you finally get to dive in the fabled Beqa Lagoon. The boat is a mix of buddy pairs and singles with several Fijian DMs diving as well.

1) Do you offer to dive with the newly certified and obviously nervous fidgety guy who already has his reg in his mouth while sitting there on the boat? Remember... you are a noble soul... you were once a tadpole.

Not really. Most resorts make you dive in the group anyway so you can still keep an eye on them throughout the dive

As it happens nobility doesn't come into play... the DM *assigns* you to the fidget. It is as you surmised... he is not only a tadpole but a shop vac. He sucks his air down in what must be record time. You've barely gotten to the bomies and the soft corals beckon... but your *buddy* is showing the DM his gauge and you know what that means.

This has happened to me on a trip to Vanuatu. I had agreed with the GF (now ex) that we would do 3 days in Port Vila without diving, and I would then spend the next 7 days diving everyday in Santo on the Coolidge. However I was totally bored rigid after the first day so I organised a diving trip for the second day. GF was sick of me staring wistfully at the water and let me go for it. I was so excited as we wound our way around the island to the dive base only to discover that EVERONE was a noobie. In fact they had just finished their checkout dives the day before.
18 metres for 20 minutes with noob sucking on my octi at the safety stop.

2) Do you inwardly wish that the DM would just take *your buddy* and allow you to continue your dive since you still have 2/3 of your air left?

Yeah!

3) How do you feel when the DM gives you the <pairupwithyourbuddyandascend> signal?

Not impressed. I feel for noobies but I was also paying $80 per dive and that’s completely forgetting airfares, accommodation etc. That’s $4 per minute

4) How do you feel back on the boat as you sit out what would have been 45 minutes of your dive while the *shop vac* exults to the skipper how great the dive was completely ignoring you?

Annoyed. There is a time and a place to dive with noobs. I believe in mentoring noobie divers to help them attain a better standard of diving however I don’t believe in paying $4 a minute for the pleasure.
I spoke with the DM on that particular trip after the first dive and explained my position. She buddied me up with her for the second dive and as the other buddy pairs got low on air she sent them up by themselves. Much better. 20m for 60 mins (multilevel dive).
I still kept an eye on them all (I was a newly certified DM at the time) during the dive but had a much longer and enjoyable dive.

 

[Rick Inman]

If I'm the first one back in the boat for whatever reason, with my stranger buddy tagging along disappointedly with a half tank, I will apologize and offer to pay for another dive for them. Then I either correct the situation with myself, or ask the DM to pair me up with someone with a similar bottom time.

If I am buddied with the Hoover, I would expect the DM to correct the situation on the next dive (with a possible polite reminder from me). Or, at worst, the next day.
I find it difficult to believe that a decent DM wouldn't do this to the best of their ability, and if I've done my research, I'll be with a good one.

Locally, I'll do pot luck all day long.

If diving with OE2X, I pretend to be out of air so he can get 2 dives out of his big 130 and feel real super.

 

[large and lovely]

That's why God invented bigger tanks. You can lead a hoover to more air, but you can't make him suck.

So now, all SB members should go into teaching mode on boats since it is our duty to do so? Come on man?? That is the fundamental problem with the basic training agencies. They pump out divers not ready for what they are to embark in.

Hi, I'm Rob and I am a Hoover - I always tell the DM and my buddy before we pair up but still feel bad if I am done significantly earlier than my buddy. I have been known to buy the poor guy a beer or three afterwards.

Anyway, I am working to improve my time but in the meantime I am thinking of buying a larger tank. Besides the cost is there a downside to using a large tank and sucking more air on a dive? Thanks! Rob

 

[Damselfish]

The trouble with large tanks is, it's usually only an option when you're buying them to use at home. If you travel, it's rare to be able to get larger tanks in most tropical dive destinations. It would be kinda nice if more places had some and supplied them to those who needed them most, or even rented them for a surcharge.

 

[Azza]

Hi, I'm Rob and I am a Hoover - I always tell the DM and my buddy before we pair up but still feel bad if I am done significantly earlier than my buddy. I have been known to buy the poor guy a beer or three afterwards.

Anyway, I am working to improve my time but in the meantime I am thinking of buying a larger tank. Besides the cost is there a downside to using a large tank and sucking more air on a dive? Thanks! Rob

First off, well done for admiting your hoovering. This is the first step to recovery and many people will never improve simply because they refuse to acknowledge their hoovering. Kudo's to you!
As Dameselfish said most resorts/hire shops dont have large tanks for hire. They nearly always have 80 cuft and 95 cuft aluminium tanks.
However if you want one to use at home then absolutely go for it. Get a nice big steel one and not only does it give you more air but it will improve your trim slightly and also will allow you to take some weight of your weight belt.
The only downside is if you have to walk over long distances to shore dive, they are heavier on land, but in saying that i clamber over rocky sea shore most days with two of them on my back.

 

[GlennJ]

OK, I admit - I read the first couple pages, and the last couple, so this may have been rehashed, but what they heck, you can always skip my post...

Primary point - Climbing on a boat and meeting your buddy for the first time, by and large, is the same as not having a buddy at all. Most times, you'd be better of without the buddy. I generally check out the boats I go with to find where they are in terms of solo diving, SOB diving, call it what you will. I don't mind swiming back to the ascend point to let them go up solo (I know, most dangerous part of the dive), but get real - I don't know the person, I've basically no knowledge of their habits, gear placement (obviously not DIR), etc. My ability to foresee or assist in a crisis and manage not to harm myself is limited. Yes, this is akin to "here's the door".

Of course, by doing that, I also accept a degree of "risk", at least in the view of those that consider buddy diving a *MUST*. Frankly, if you have a person that knows you, knows your habits, how you were feeling this morning, how you normally react in an emergency, your likelihood to panic, your diving history/skills, your normal bar order, etc - well, then you have a buddy. If you step on a boat and they say, "Mr. Jones, meet Mr. Smith, your buddy for this dive" (or more likely, this will happen just before you gear up, not on the boat ride out), you better look more on this person as a human anchor, not a buddy.

Harsh, but hey, I'm willing to let you point out the flaws...

 

[Scot M]

There is training available to help improve your ability to foresee and assist in a crisis without hurting yourself. You might consider taking a class. As for learning about different gear configurations, some of your anchors, erm, buddies, would probably be happy to take the time to walk you through their setup.

 

[solo_diver]

Yea, hoover owes you big time, but the captain is more to blame. You see if you had a choice, to buddy dive or solo dive, then you could avoid the hoovers all together. But the reality is you HAVE to buddy dive. In all fairness I used to be a hoover myself. that was largely because I was a smoker back then and I didn't excersise. now i ride bike 3 times a week and have quit smoking.