Help with "excuses"...

[Stoo]

I am in the process of planning a trip without my significant other, Mrs. Stoo. Mrs. Stoo is unaware of this trip, and fortunately, she doesn't spend time on Scubaboard. She and I are going to Whistler in January, and Belize in March, but this leaves me without a trip in February... Ya, I know, "Poor Stoo" is what you're thinking... and I agree completely.

Last year, my daughter lived in Utila, so I had a perfectly viable excuse to go there to visit. This year, she is in Australia, and I have every intent of meeting her somewhere along the way.... Fiji or perhaps Palau, but that's a discussion for another day.

I thought I would post looking for help, because I can't imagine that I am the only one who could use a quiver of "excuses" or "reasons" why I need to get a way diving without our significant others. (I should mention that I adore Mrs. Stoo in every way, but her job prevents her from travelling as frequently as mine...)

What I can report so far, is that the following reasons DO NOT work all that well...

1) "Well, one of us needs to work..."
2) "I need to work on my tan..."
3) "I'm so stressed at work..." (Her job is way more stressful than mine... in fact, I barely work at all any more...)

Anyway, I thought that you might help me to compile a list of worthy excuses, and if we compile enough, the MODS might even make this a sticky, to be used a resource by all...

I look forward to hearing from you!

 

[Doppler]

Who are you and what have you done to my mate stooo!???

 

[ElChe]

It's simple. She can't travel that much so first of all you have to explore the possible destinations. Later you can help her to decide which ones the best places to visit with you in her less free time...

 

[Stoo]

Who are you and what have you done to my mate stooo!???

One in the same my bubbly friend... Hey can I use you for an excuse? Tell Kelly you NEED me to show you how to dive or something? ;-)

It's simple. She can't travel that much so first of all you have to explore the possible destinations. Later you can help her to decide which ones the best places to visit with you in her less free time...

You know I actually tried that. My first "volley" was to suggest that I head down to Belize a week early to check out this place at Long Cay, near Turneffe, where we are going. It's fair to say that floating that idea was about as successful as floating my weightbelt.

After some analysis, I believe that the flaw in this plan was that it would have meant her having to schlep her own gear down she met me week later... Understandable. And so the plan was revised to a stand-alone trip was born.

I should perhaps point out that while Mrs Stoo only weighs 96 pounds, she is half Sicilian, and half Irish. If I earn too much of her "ire" I am likely to either have my car explode, or possibly find a severed horse head in my bed.

So surely someone must have a good idea? I am starting to think I will just book it and take the "Better to beg forgiveness, than to ask permission..." approach.

 

[Mark Derail]

How about Arithmetic?

Mr. Stoo goes South for a week, stays in a modest (aka cheap) three star, eats sandwiches, and dives.
Keep all your receipts, add it all up.
Let's say 2,000$

Mrs. Stoo gets a 2,000$ check, to do as she pleases. No questions asked - that's the deal.

So, to afford a 2,000$ trip to dive, you must save 4,000$.

What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.

 

[Stoo]

What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.

Now that's just the crazy talk. I don't think that the issue is one of money. It's more that if she needs to be suffering through a Canadian winter, then I should be too... But I LOVE winter too... love skiing almost as much as diving, which is why I pop off to Vermont every few weeks... alone.

Ugh. This isn't going to be pretty. Maybe this is what they mean when they say diving is dangerous.

Maybe if I buy her a T-shirt, AND some cheap rum???

 

[ElChe]

I confess: I envy your problems.
My solution is different, but I'm a lucky person. I use to say to travel and dive is not fun but my job! Sometimes it's true... The rum sounds good but not for her: my gf would put the glass to an uncomfortable place but if I drink enough I can survive easier the grumble.

 

[Mark Derail]

Get a muse - get them OW certified. My son is a DM, future instructor, so I can always do a father-son dive. Lucky me. My GF loves to dive. Lucky me.

Stoo, you need more "lucky me"'s...

Her parents must be a hoot.
Her Dad - Oy, she brings me to drink that one. You want a Scoth laddie?
Her Mom - Come eat, big boy needs food, nobody say no to my food. Sit!

 

[Jim Lapenta]

Go for the cheap rum now. Get her drunk, "service her" better than you ever have, and when she is lying there exhausted and totally in awe of your "expertise" ask her if you can take a short side trip promising to "take care" of her in the exact same manner on your return.

Or just get her drunk and pull a Ben McGeever but actually show up during your funeral. Which her being Irish and Sicilian should not be too long in coming if she ever sees this thread.

 

[redacted]

Tell her you want her to quit her job and go with you.