Potapko
Contributor
Headlines from the year 2029
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
> largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as
California.
> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
> Mexifornia's third language.
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
> livestock.
>
> Baby conceived naturally . Scientists stumped.
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>
> Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory
> of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and
> Lebanon).
>
> Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
> more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
>
> C astro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
> legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
>
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
> reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
> 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight
> loss.
>
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
> speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
> rights.
>
> Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
> swatters an d rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
> Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
> contributions to campaign accounts.
>
> Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with
> congressman.
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>
> Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
> largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as
California.
> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
> Mexifornia's third language.
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
> livestock.
>
> Baby conceived naturally . Scientists stumped.
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>
> Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory
> of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and
> Lebanon).
>
> Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
> more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
>
> C astro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
> legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
>
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
> reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
> 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight
> loss.
>
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
> speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
> rights.
>
> Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
> swatters an d rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
> Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
> contributions to campaign accounts.
>
> Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with
> congressman.
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>
> Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines
Besides, if we can't discern humor from soberness in a joke forum? hmmmm
