Funny things you hear about diving...

[RJP]

So my wife is working from home today because we had an appliance repair guy coming over.

When he is coming in through the garage he sees my tanks and says to my wife "Steel doubles, huh? Looks like somebody is a pretty hard-core diver." My wife rolls her eyes (I'm sure) figuring she's just met my next dive buddy, and tells him that I'm an avid diver.

"Too bad he dives nitrox - that stuff is dangerous! I used to be an instructor and I can tell you I would never teach anyone to use nitrox. Does more harm than good you know. Better tell him to stop diving that poison before he gets hurt. Really. Why, I've done dives to 250' and I can tell you..."

Now my wife doesn't know much about how deep anything in particular is, nor anything about MODs, but for some reason she shoots back to the guy with all incredulity, "250 feet? What were you diving, the Andrea Doria?"

"Why, yes in fact! You see, it was years ago and I was..."

At this point Mrs RJP is done talking diving, and finishes her part of the conversation with "Well I would sure hope you wouldn't dive nitrox to 250ft. The dryer's right over here..."

 

[PlayaCountryBoy]

Good Girl! Bet he looked like a after you said that, eh?

A couple days ago, I got off the ferry coming back from Cozumel and a guy saw my U/W video housing and ask me " how fast did that thing pull me through the water?" Well...duh?..Its a camera, dude! He just smiled and said "Oh.", and looked away. Whatta dummy! ;-)

 

[El Orans]

:rofl4:

 

[Garrobo]

If I remember right, a few years ago many of the old divers did call gas mixtures like Nitrox poison for some reason.

 

[PlayaCountryBoy]

Didn't some the "old farts" label rock-n-roll poison as well? Truth is, some people just don't like change.

 

[Doc]

Didn't some the "old farts" label rock-n-roll poison as well? Truth is, some people just don't like change.

Open your ears, expand your mind. Take wisdom from those who have come before. Understand the history of the change.

True, the nitrox certification & process have made its use into a safe practice. If you wish to debate the "need" for the stuff, lay out your case in mathematics. It's largely a solution that found a double edged marketing problem: tank fill sales and training.

Tough guys were sucking heliox and trimix (and god knows what else) long before the car that you were conceived in rolled off the line at Ford. (me too!) They are the guys who got bent and worse... maybe they knew a little something about devil's gas~ at least as how they knew it. Maybe they went on to repair washers and dryers.

Really Funny things you hear about diving?

1) Jellyfish pumped along with the warm water into a commercial diver's suit

2) The fully suited-up diver found hanging in a tree after a forest fire

3) I'm going to work at the dive shop and get my DM for free

3) I'm going to quit my 9-5 and become a SCUBA Instructor and live in paradise

3) How deep do you go?

3) Aren't you afraid of Sharks?

3) Snorkeling is safer

3) OXYGEN tanks being referenced by the media in SCUBA stories

3) Does this tank make my butt look fat?

3) Who tied the pork chop to my tank valve before this dive?

3) Another big buyer of Cxyalume sticks at the LDS: your local exotic dancers

3) Do I have snot/blood/brain matter running out of my nose?

3) Any mention in any SCUBA conversation of the words: Spare Air or Titanium

3) I got more than 150 dives, I'm an Instructor... Hell, man- I seen it all!

3) I got more than 5,000 dives, I'm a CD.... Hell, man- I seen it all!

 

[joystershell]

If I remember right, a few years ago many of the old divers did call gas mixtures like Nitrox poison for some reason.

"Remember when sex was safe and diving was dangerous"?

 

[mohave_steve]

After living a local lake & visiting a sunken school bus I was asked:

(fisherman1) Did you see any fish?
Yes.
(fisherman2) Were they Under the Water?
.........

Later in the day when asked by non divers what I saw diving the lake I mentioned the school bus & was asked quite seriuosly:

Where there any kids on it??

My reply: No, do you have some you would like me to take down on my next dive? There are plenty of seats available.

 

[grassyknoll]

C'mon, how about when you are all rigged up and lumbering towards the water, someone will invariably make the comment "Going diving?".
I have yet to come up with a sufficient retort to that little gem.

 

[Kwbyron]

C'mon, how about when you are all rigged up and lumbering towards the water, someone will invariably make the comment "Going diving?".
I have yet to come up with a sufficient retort to that little gem.

No. Septic tank backed up, I'm gonna go clean it out.