When I was a beginning diver, I had so much trouble equalizing that an instructor said I just might have to give up o the whole diving experience. Now that I have been an instructor for nearly a decade, I still have not had a student have as much trouble as I did when I first started. As much trouble as I had, I never had your symptoms with my ears.
When you equalize, you should start early (like at least the day before) and do it often. You should never feel pain. If you begin to feel pain, you should ascend until that goes away and try to equalize again and again and again. My problem as a student was that I was still up in shallow water while the rest of the class was down below waiting for me. As a beginning diver, I had a lot of trouble getting down to the planned depths of the dives. Once I finally got my ears to clear, I was fine. If you force yourself to go down without equalizing properly, then, yes, you will get blood filling those spaces instead of air.
I have occasionally had blood in my mask. That, too, is an equalization problem. This time the problem is in the sinuses, and when you get a bit of a squeeze up in your sinuses, they will drain down to you mask. A little bit is not a problem. All those spaces in your head--ears and sinuses--are connected, so if you are having problems with one, there is a good chance you will have a problem with the others.
Be patient when you dive. As a student and a new diver, I felt a lot of peer pressure to get down to with everyone else. I had to have the sense to get over that worry and just wait for things to happen.
Eventually, my problem went away. What it took was doing a whole lot of diving so that my Eustachian tubes got the idea and started working the way they are designed to work.