Diving as a religion.

[fisherdvm]

Well, it might be reposted in the Humor section. But I think it is valuable to discuss it in the beginner's section. As I think, it would help them fin through the murky silt laden water of Scubaboard.

Diving is like religions because:

1. There are mainstream religions: PADI, SSI, NAUI, YMCA, etc.
2. There are fundamentalists: GUE/DIR.
3. There is the CREED: The NDL tables, slightly different for each religion, but essentially the same on how you use it.
4. There is a GOD: Air.
5. There is the GREATEST COMMANDMENT: Thou shalt no run out of air.
6. There are religious fanatics: The scubaboard addicts.
7. There are priests: Dive instructors.
8. There are deacons: Dive masters.
9. There are wisemen: The old geezers.
10. There cults: Cave, Wreck, Pink.
11. There are public stoning: When a troll is caught.
12. Rites of initiation: 25 meter one breath dive, OOA drills, mask clearing, etc.
13. Saints: Jacque Cousteau.
14. Martyrs: I will not name names for the sake of the family.
15. Pilgrimages: Famous wrecks.
16. Donations: At least 15% of your disposable income yearly.
17. Holy wars: Do a search on PADI bashing, start a thread on using spare air.
18. The Church: Any open body of water.
19. The followers: Common everyday rec divers.
20. Holier than thou people: Tech divers.
21. Religion controlled states: Scubaboard - using moderators as enforcers.
22. Conservatives: Dive with large ponies and doubles.
23. Liberals: Dive with spare airs and pink gears.
24. Religious symbols: Wear dive computer instead of a watch. Dive symbol on tie clip. Padi badges.
25. Chapels: Dive boats and popular dive sites.
26. Religious book: Encyclopedia of diving. Navy dive manual.
27. Sacraments: Open water, Advanced Openwater, Nitrox, etc.
28. Daily mass/church attendant: The obsessive diver trying to exceed his 5000 th dive.
29. The typical diver: Attend "church" service only twice a year while on their cruise.
30. Baptism: First OW dive.
31. Hermits: Solo divers.
32. Sinners: Return to the boat with empty tanks, exceeding the NDL, diving with out an SPG, rototilling the corals with your kicks.
33. God's punishment for sins: Decompression sickness, ear squeeze, death.
34. Wife's punishment for religion: Divorce paper filed the day after you bought the rebreather.

 

[HowardE]

There's so many things I want to say here.

Alas... I'm scheduled to be at a dive boat in 15 minutes. I'm sure by the time I get home there will be some good ones.

 

[Kim]

Good grief.......that's about 34 reasons to give up diving...... at least on the Internet....

 

[HowardE]

I didn't think of Air as the almighty... I dive with Nitrox most of the time. I would think TriMix would be the almighty though?

Ok... really - time to go diving now

 

[photohikedive]

17. Holy wars: Do a search on PADI bashing, start a thread on using spare air.

you skipped the largest Holy War on SB there ever was. hundreds of thousands of posts under the title of this subject, the big question.....


Mask on Forehead/No Mask on Forehead

 

[SteveAD]

I didn't think of Air as the almighty... I dive with Nitrox most of the time. I would think TriMix would be the almighty though?

Ok... really - time to go diving now

Call god what you will: air - nitrox - gas. without it you're lost.

 

[ohmdiver]

air = the Father
Nitrox = Son
Trimix = The Holy Ghost

Oh I know there is a special place in Hell (Unavoidable long Surface Interval) for us all.

 

[Saltair]

I would have thought the first commandment would have been dont hold your breath. But I guess we could start a "holy War" over that topic too. Good Stuff!

 

[cudachaser]

My church is 70ft underwater anywhere on Sunday morning

 

[Cacia]

The IRS only requires three people to form a church, I think.