Death at Terrigal - NSW, Australia

[clownfishsydney]

Scuabdivesydney, received the email with aerial photo. Nitro91, Note that this is north (corrected after receiving a different second photo of the site) of the Skillion. The Skillion is the very high angled headland to the east, not the northern head of The Haven. As far as I know, no-one dives to the south of the Skillion, or if they do, it is rare.

 

[scubadivesydney]

A photo looking at either headland from the sea can confirm as I remember a distinct feature next to where dvbuddy stood. Im not familiar with the names of this dive site just so your clear. The only name Im familiar with is the boat ramp and the ex hmas adelaide.

 

[Nitro91]

woah, its the michael mcfadyen.
I have been checking your site often but noticed it hasn't been updated in a wihle.

 

[clownfishsydney]

Note that after thinking about it, Scubadivesydney has now sent me a second photo of where he was found. This is indeed south of the Skillion. I have corrected my other post so that someone does not only read that one and think it was the correct location. Strange place to be diving I would have thought.

Nitro, have not dived in Sydney since before I went to US for Gabe Watson trial, came back with a cold!

 

[Nitro91]

the circle is where his buddy was standing signaling for us.
and the diver in distress was just in the water there.

 

[Mantra]

Jesus.

Dvbuddy, my heart goes out to you. As an aid worker and journo, I have been in and around a couple of war zones and know a little bit about survivor's guilt and shock. Please get the support you need. I'd recommend seeing a grief and trauma counsellor as soon as you can even if you feel you don't need to. Talking helps. Telling the story, as you have done here, is one of the best things you can do. Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help. I'd be happy to chase up some names for you of people with the right expertise. Again, my heart goes out to you.

Scubadivesydney, thank you for your courage and your service. If you are ever in Brissie, the beers are on me. I imagine this is haunting you too. Thank you for taking all that onto yourself for the sake of a stranger in need.

 

[sydney-diver]

Jesus.

Dvbuddy, my heart goes out to you. As an aid worker and journo, I have been in and around a couple of war zones and know a little bit about survivor's guilt and shock. Please get the support you need. I'd recommend seeing a grief and trauma counsellor as soon as you can even if you feel you don't need to. Talking helps. Telling the story, as you have done here, is one of the best things you can do. Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help. I'd be happy to chase up some names for you of people with the right expertise. Again, my heart goes out to you.

Scubadivesydney, thank you for your courage and your service. If you are ever in Brissie, the beers are on me. I imagine this is haunting you too. Thank you for taking all that onto yourself for the sake of a stranger in need.

I'll second this, please don't be embarrassed to seek help. I cannot imagine what you must be going through.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

I have to throw my oar in here. I was trained to conduct Criticle Incident Stress Debriefings and Defusings as one of my roles in the Ambulance Service in Canada. It is a real problem that needs to be dealt with but IMHO it can sometimes be over done. It is OK to need help and seek it. Don't allow yourself to have a festering emotional problem any more than you would allow yourself to have a festering physical problem. The Macho attitude to responses to stress is thank goodness recognised as inappropriate now days. There is no shame in needing some support!

There is no shame in being ok either. Sometimes people are made to feel guilty if they cope well and they start questioning themselves.. wondering if it means they are cold or something. Sometimes we are in the right mental state to cope with an event. Sometimes we are in a good emotional state and we cope just fine. That is great too.

What is crucial is that you are honest with yourself. If you are ok.. great.. if you aren't then talk to someone about it. Don't let others expectations of your response no matter how well intended be they positive or negative influence you to something that is not right for you.

The best description of CIS I have heard was the Psychiatrist who was in charge of our team during our training. He said that emergency providers police, fire, ambulance, other rescuers develop a slide show in their heads... you see things that you will never forget... it is like a movie trailer in your head. Things will happen that will trigger those memories... it is when you can't stop or control the slide show that you are in trouble. Of course some things are going to get to you when they are fresh but when you can't stop thinking about it, when it effects your sleep, your eating or emotional response to things you need to get support. Once again I urge you to allow yourselves to react in the way that you need to.. be honest with yourselves and if you think you need help you most certainly do!

It has been a while since I was required to use my training in this area and also a while since that training. I must add that nobody is qualified... least of all myself to diagnose or assess your needs based on what is typed on an internet forum. You are the only one who can decide if you need help or not. Be well...

 

[Mantra]

There is no shame in being ok either. Sometimes people are made to feel guilty if they cope well and they start questioning themselves.. wondering if it means they are cold or something. Sometimes we are in the right mental state to cope with an event. Sometimes we are in a good emotional state and we cope just fine. That is great too.

What is crucial is that you are honest with yourself. If you are ok.. great.. if you aren't then talk to someone about it. Don't let others expectations of your response no matter how well intended be they positive or negative influence you to something that is not right for you....

That's very well said. There is no one 'right' way to be.

 

[snvhunt]

Scuabdivesydney, received the email with aerial photo. Nitro91, Note that this is north (corrected after receiving a different second photo of the site) of the Skillion. The Skillion is the very high angled headland to the east, not the northern head of The Haven. As far as I know, no-one dives to the south of the Skillion, or if they do, it is rare.

The site south of the Skillion is a great dive (The Slide | Muddy Puddle Diver (muddypuddlediver.com)) that is quite popular (when the conditions are Northerly or calm). It very exposed when the sea conditions are coming in from the south.

Cheers.
Scott